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He Said: “Keep Your Hands to Yourself!” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

He Said: “Keep Your Hands to Yourself!”

October 22, 2009 by  

Last year we fortunately had our application approved for a downtown Raleigh magnet school.  It’s a great opportunity for our children to attend a leadership-based elementary school.  Our daughter started kindergarten last year, and the drive downtown was great – some special daddy/daughter time each morning, and mom picked up in the afternoon.  We were a well-oiled machine…

This year is a little different on many levels.   Our daughter is now in first grade, and our son is in kindergarten.  Also, close friends of our successfully applied this year, and their son now attends.  My nice quiet ride with my daughter now includes 3 kids, all in the back seat, for 45 minutes of arguing, touching, kicking, stories that normally include the word ‘poop,’ begging for a Dunkin’ Donuts stop, and, obviously, 5-10 empty threats from the driver’s seat.  There rarely is a day that goes by without the expected “guys, PLEASE keep your hands to yourselves” comment.  I make them draw a line between them and warn them not to cross into the others’ space.  Then, I shiver and think to myself “my god…I’m becoming MY DAD.”

I considered recommending my in-laws to stop reading here, but after 4 kids and 9 years of marriage, the following shouldn’t come as a surprise – sometimes your daughter/sister/cousin/niece does give in!

However, I’m one of the chosen few who both speak and hear the phrase “keep your hands to yourself!”  This is one of the very few downsides of “marrying up.”  Amazingly, this cliché, when used during pillow talk, can be said in a number of different ways from my experiences, including:

“Maybe in the morning.”
“Maybe tonight.”
“I have morning breath.”
“You have morning breath.”
“Did you finish the laundry?”
What would Jack Bauer do at this moment?
“Zzzzzzz.”  (FYI – I’ve never fallen for his one)
“What about the dog?”
“What if the kids hear?”
“Wasn’t last month enough?”

She can say it in any number of ways, but the message is always consistent – “keep your hands to yourself!”

(I love you, Kat!)

Click here to see the GIRL’S Version of “Keep Your Hands to Yourself!”

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4 Responses to “He Said: “Keep Your Hands to Yourself!””
  1. Steve Fleming says:

    BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… I “JUST TAKE IT” in my house….
    of course only when she says it’s ok to “JUST TAKE IT…”


  2. RFS says:

    I read BEYOND


  3. Dave says:

    Am I still invited up for New Years, Pop?


  4. Tara says:

    lol.. that was great… delayed reaction i know.. i’m only just catching up on this blog now. and the cousin knows the cousin gives in. u keep on trying and i’ll keep on pulling for you:) xoxo


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