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Yellow Snow | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Friday, April 28, 2017

Yellow Snow

December 15, 2009 by Kat  

Yellow Snow Goes Mobile

Picture 44 Yep, I probably should be totally mortified that this is the trunk to my haul-as$ 8 seater Surburban, but I’m kind of over it.

Choosing ‘when’ a 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 year old is gonna pee, or have their bowel rumble, cramp, and inevitably pop out the nastiest smell you’ve ever smelled, is not a parent’s choice.

Common conversations (and, not in a sweet voice, either) in the confines of the car include:

I-TOLD-YOU-TO-TRY-BEFORE-WE-LEFT

“I-TOLD-YOU-THIS-WAS-GONNA-HAPPEN—–DAMMIT”

“I-CAN’T-PULL-OVER-GUESS-YOU’RE-GONNA-HAVE-TO-HOLD-IT-IN-OR-LET-YOUR-EYES-GO-YELLOW-(or-brown, depending)”

HOW-BAD-IS-’REALLY-BAD,‘-REALLY, HONEY”?

“SON-OF-A-BIT%H*”

I have more stories than the confines of this workspace will allow, as it relates to times we’ve pulled over (or didn’t pull over, err…. and made the kids hop in the trunk to do-their-business while on an 11 hour car ride).  All you need to know –  that I know – is:

A.  If you don’t have a porta-potty in your trunk, I know you’ve seriously considered it
B.  There are too many of you out there who probably would deny having one
C.  Yes, admittedly it’s disgusting… but I guess that’s my punishment for overpopulating the world with my 4 kids. I don’t have a choice 9 times outta ten (there is ZERO chance in H-E-double-hockeysticks that I would schlep a 20 month old, 3 year old, 5 year old and 6 year old into the sketchiest gas station on the east coast JUST because my son refused to take a whiz before a long car ride)
D.  Don’t judge me for doing it… Just know I spend about 4-5 hours daily in the car. No, I’m not kidding

And, lastly:
- You’re darn lucky I didn’t show you a bird’s eye view of the above trunk or porta-potty… as it was filled with urine and wipies from my almost 7 year old’s pee… and, from 10 days ago (THANK God it’s been cold out). I forgot! Shoot me. Gross, I admit it… got lots on my mind, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, wait… look what I just found!! Which is more gross? My tactic or that? (PS – I do insert a disposable bag, and then dump it in a garbage can outside of Target or the grocery store :mrgreen: ). I have less clean up than My Pee-Pee Bottle. Who’s the sucker?  Hmm….

C’mon, I want to know your story… do you travel-with-toilet? … If not, lemme guess, you have two or less children?  I didn’t travel with above commode until I popped out a 3rd.  Birth control, I guess.

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Comments

6 Responses to “Yellow Snow”
  1. Alissa says:

    I don’t travel with a toilet, but sometimes I wish I did . . . but not for kids, for me. I’m on the road a lot for work, and sometimes finding a convenient place to pee, is not easy. The other day, I went into a Home Depot, and then because I felt bad that I was going there just to pee had to pretend to be looking for something, even though I really wasn’t.

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  2. Becky says:

    We never travel without one. It’s only spilled once. : ) Helpful hint: when traveling long distances (or even short ones) keep a couple of grocery bags (plastic) handy…it makes #2 clean ups MUCH easier when you can simply remove the offending/offensive excrement and toss the bag into a trash can.

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  3. Becky says:

    Oh yeah, I’ve pee’d in it once too. Stuck in construction traffic on I 75 in Michigan. Pregnant. Need I say more?

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  4. Kat says:

    Okay, now that the cat’s outta the bag, I’ll admit it… me, too! Pregnant w/my 4th… lemme guess, Beck — pregnant w/your 4th, also?!?!? Mine was at a SHADY, SHADY gas station in remove Virginia… I was without hubby, but with a 2 1/2 year old and infant… and chose to risk get arrested over getting Clamidia in the public bathroom.

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  5. Roodlyne says:

    I’ll admit kids are cute and cuddly but there is nothing cute about stinky poo. LOL I like the porta-potty idea, my 2 year was almost totally potty train but a 12 hour road trip added to the new baby in the house push her into regression. She’s not used to public potties yet, a porta-potty coulda save my life.

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  6. Kat says:

    Don’t forget the disposable bags that need to be readily accessible (!!) — I just buy like the smallest, cheap ones (i.e. for a bathroom wastebasket), and keep the roll in the trunk. Don’t buy the ones from Babies R Us or whatever. Note: be sure to empty full bag asap and REPLACE with fresh, clean one (have made that mistake too many times!). The next time your child “needs to go”, there — Murphy’s Law — will be no bag in the potty. Also, don’t forget wipes (keep in car). Heck, I’ve even gone in it before (while pregnant w/the 4th on 8 hour car trip).

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