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She Said: W X Y Zzzzzzz | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

She Said: W X Y Zzzzzzz

January 12, 2010 by  

Are you or your signif. other the one who — when you argue in the relationship — keeps on coming back for more retaliation? Is it the thrill of stirring the pot, or is the point of getting the point across? If your better half would just ‘speak up’, shrug, nod… or SOMETHING… maybe the other wouldn’t deliberately trample outta the room, squawking “That’s it, I”m not talking about it anymore!!”, (famous last words) only to saunter right back into the kitchen/den and start going at it again.

Are you ‘that guy’? Are you ‘that girl’? I’ll admit, I just can’t close the chapter on something until:
(A) I’m confident I got my point across
(B) There’s been some sort of resolution or apology (of course, by him)

This post surfaced because even though we decided to “Move forward” and sweep an argument this weekend under the proverbial carpet, the material is just too good to not mention. I can bet some of you can relate on some level; please chime in if you do (!).

So, Saturday night, hubby agrees that we’ll stay in and work on Today’s Cliche when kids go to bed. I crammed in (already) about 8 hours of TCHNetwork.com work during the daylight hours, as well as Today’s Cliche (he totally helped with kids; thanks honey [interpreted as: thanks for giving the kids the Mario Kart the Wii Game to kill the day with; the game that not only did you buy without discussing, but you swore they’d HAVE TO EARN IT, and you’d discuss with me first. Yeah, THAT didn’t happen].

Anyway, at 8:30 pm on Saturday, after kids are tucked in, I start hammering away.
Hubby lays on couch for a bit, presumably to get some rest before he puts a good 4 hours of work in with me.
Within minutes he’s snoring away. Worthless. Unreal.

(No, thankfully, that’s not hubby to the right; Dave is bald, as you know!) I shove him a few times to go to bed, with ESPN still blaring in the background… and I’m going to take a wild stab that his hands were also down his pants like every other guy automatically does the minute his a$s hits the couch. No response from several jabs. Finally at 12:30 am, I oblige him to go to bed.

I crawl in bed at 2 am, and whisper, “Babe, do you mind getting up with them in the morning; I’ve been working since 8:30 pm and it’s 2 am”. I get the phat grunt. Score.

Hubby wakes me at 9 am Sunday, presumably to get ready for church as we do/go to EVERY single Sunday (have I mentioned before how much I love our church?). I come out to family room, and guess what the whole family is doing?  Screaming at the top of their lungs playing — you guessed it — Mario Kart for the Wii. I hop on email to address any work emails that came in, mention “hey guys, not much longer, we have church in a little bit”.

Tick tock, tick tock.

        • It’s now 9:22 am (church starts at 10 am), and HE’s still playing Mario Kart for the Wii with the 3 boys. HE decides to put the game to bed and make breakfast.
        • 9:26 am: SHE says, “I’m hopping in the shower” (interpreted as: JUST AS WE DO EVERY SINGLE Sunday, SHE gets in the shower 1st, while HE begins the process to get the 4 kids dressed and ready. When SHE gets out of shower, SHE tag teams HIM, HE hops in the shower, and SHE wraps up the exit strategy). It’s what we do; it’s how our Sunday mornings ALWAYS go.
    • SHE gets out of the shower, comes out… and HE is just moseying around the kitchen, pretending to look busy. SHE says, while biting HER tongue: “Oh… Ummm….. Are the kids even remotely 1/2 way dressed? Has the baby’s diaper been changed once in the 2 hours he’s been up? Did you give him his antibiotic that he has every morning and night? Why are they now just eating breakfast if they’ve been up for 2 hours?  Are their clothes down here? Are you getting in the shower? Why don’t you seem rushed?”

He said: “I’m” making them breakfast. Wait, we’re going to church? I just figured (OH, this BURNS HER UP!) that since
(and, yes, there was EXTREME STRESS ON THE “SLEPT IN”, not making that up), that we
weren’t goin
g. I was following your lead.”

Oh man. Does HE know how to get under HER skin? As you can imagine, SHE goes off on… “Oh, SLEPT IN? I FREAKIN worked while your sorry a$s laid on the couch sleeping!! When you work late, I swear to God I hope I don’t THROW IT IN YOUR FACE.”   Wow. That really hurt her. She was working to substantiate her family’s income. And, he knows the morning routine, regardless of who gets up.

SHE tells HIM, “Please choose — either be super-supportive-amazing-husband, or be the jerk. I can’t stand the back and forth.”

SHE came back in a few times with a few choice words; this is where the “keeps coming back for retaliation” takes place.

Fast forward: HE and SHE argue about this the whole drive to church, arrive 17 minutes after the service starts, and (led by her) continue bickering about this the whole way walking in the parking lot (kids were noting to them the WHOLE parking lot walk that “We both deserve REDS for our behavior” [clearly we use the Stoplight System in our house].)

We get the kids into their Sunday School classes, sit down for the service finally.  SHE does something she’s probably never done: Leans over, looks in his eyes, holds HIS hand and says, “I’m sorry, let’s Move Forward“.  But, nothing is worth holding tension or a grudge; it will literally eat you alive. Especially when you’re at the helm of a family, when impressionable children are counting on you to be a leader.

CLICK HERE to READ the HE SAID version of W X Y Zzzzzzz

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One Response to “She Said: W X Y Zzzzzzz”
  1. Ally says:

    These were way too good – and hit close to home. I have to admit my husband does the shut-down-the-house routine nearly every night, and I am often asleep before him. And I REALLY don’t like it when he falls asleep before me and leaves me to do hi- it makes me cranky. And I really have a hard time dropping it until I feel like I’ve gotten my point across – which requires ACKNOWLEDGEMENT from the other half… So, I feel you both on this one.


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