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Smokey & the Bandit | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Smokey & the Bandit

January 28, 2010 by  

Yeah, yeah… So maybe I don’t know who Smokey is… but I know damn well who the bandit is. The flippin’ RECEIPT BANDIT. I – AM – SOOOO – OVER – YOU!!!

Whoever in the hell keeps swiping my damn receipts, please give them back! They belong to me — And, what the hell are you going to do with them anyway? You’re like the damn dryer sock swiper. You guys are probably laughing your ass off at me right now, from behind my living room walls. You just LOVE seeing my scramble, sweat, and swear in front of my kids, don’t you. It’s not funny.

And why, why, WHY do you have to ONLY TAKE THE DAMN RECEIPTS THAT I DESPERATELY NEED??? The ones I GO OUT OF MY WAY to put in a special spot — to insure I can find it when needed??

Receipt Bandit – why do you also ONLY swipe the receipts of items that aren’t particularly cheap — or those items that I know when I purchase them that they’ll likely be returned (see aforementioned comment about how I PUT THEN IN A SPECIAL SPOT for that reason!).

And, why the hell do you leave the receipts with all of the $1.99 and $2.99 items on them, that I could give a hoot about? The ONE receipt with the 14 Ann Taylor items that I didn’t try on in the store (and none of which fit) — OF COURSE you had to take that.  I KNOW IT WAS RIGHT HERE!!

I have another particular bone to pick with you — you know which one I’m talking about. The damn Remote Car Starter for Hubby that he SWORE HE NEEDED for Christmas last year, but neither ever installed nor even held it between his two hands.

You suckered me into selling that thing (after looking for 9 1/2 months for it) for $248 dollars less than I bought it for; nonetheless to that jerk at my garage sale. Go ahead, laugh.

No, I don’t need the combined 1,546,793 Target & Walmart Receipts from 2009 that you chose to conveniently leave behind. I need the ones you keep taking!

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2 Responses to “Smokey & the Bandit”
  1. Melissa says:

    HA! Same thing happens to me! I put them away for safe keeping….but only can ever find the receipts for less than $5, never the really expensive items that I want to return. I think my hubby would die if he saw all the clothes that still have tags on them in my closet…that I “misplaced” the receipt for, ooopppsss!


  2. OMG, I totally feel you on this one. That darn bandit struck at Christmas big time & now I am stuck with the wrong stuff. When you find him hold him down so I can kick him a couple times too.


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