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All About MEme Monday | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Saturday, October 21, 2017

All About MEme Monday

February 1, 2010 by Kat  


It’s that time of week: “
All About MEme Monday“.

The topic today? I have to share a funny story regarding getting pulled over — in a car. She gives an alternative assignment for those who are Goody 2 Shoes (of which I AM N-O-T). I don’t have a funny getting-pulled-over-in-a-car story, but a brief one about when I got pulled over in a JETSKI. I think that would qualify.

Here goes:
The rules were VERY strict on the water we lived on. “NO WAKE ZONE” signs were wallpapered on every bulkhead within eye shot. HOw BoRiNG!! Especially considering it flippin’ took a good 1/2 hour to get out to the open waterway, chock full of white-capped waves and ferry wakes. Ahh… WOW, do I miss that!  When it came to following the water rules, admittedly I (actually) was the Girl Scout, and actually DID obey… as I fully understood the honor and privilege of having a Jetski to drive (plus, the fear of having to admit my errors in judgement to my dad and mom were threatening enough!).

What to say if getting pulled over:
I’ve always thought to myself (b/c the water police were quite rampant every summer), “What would I do/say to get out of a ticket if I ever got pulled over?” I knew that the Jetski was registered to Dad, so it would be quite complicated to get out of it. The story I mulled over and finally settled on was that I would say to the maritime police that I just got my period, and was mortified, and was hurrying home to get a tampon. I figured WHAT HOT COP IN HIS RIGHT MIND would ask to see evidence of a period, or want to be put in a position to even repeat the word “period”?  That was going to be my story, and I was sticking to it.

Enter Cousin:
Anywho, my younger cousin always tried to get me to break the rules. She was a woman of dare — and still is. She crosses every figurative and literal line possible. And, she doesn’t even mean to break the rules. She just feels as though the world revolves around her and that she was entitled to have its full attention.

Anyway, I let her drive the Jetski in from the open water. 1st mistake.  Speed limit: 3 miles per hour.
I begged her to slow down, that we’d get caught, and how would she explain to my dad that she got pulled over?  She didn’t care. Her dad was 1/1000th as strict as mine. She didn’t get it!

Anywho, she’s speeding away, trying to flip me off of the Jetski in the NO WAKE ZONE. And, sure enough… the lights… the spinning lights are heading our way. In a MOMENT OF EXTREME fear, without even thinking, I take one for the team. Being scared that she’d spew some random excuse that would get us in MORE trouble out of her mouth, I dive over her and take OVER control of the Jetski. We were far enough away from police boat that this was achievable. However, S_&_I_T!

What was  I going to do? What was I going to say? I had my story, and I was sticking to it. “Kat, you have your period… you’re bleeding everywhere… you’ll be in like Flynn, and dad will never know. Period. Blood. Stick to it.”

Well, my mom’s whispering into my ear was overbearing:  NEVER, EVER LIE… no matter what.

The net-net:
I wimped out. Got a ticket. Told dad. But I’m still pissed that my name was on the tix and not my cousin’s! Guess that’s what big cousins do.

Car tickets:
I’ve gotten 2 other tickets (in a car these times) in my life. As the officer is walking to the car and I’m literally pooping my pants, I keep repeating in my head: “Kat, you have your period… you’re bleeding everywhere… you’ll be in like Flynn, and dad hubby will never know. Period. Blood. Stick to it.”

I’ve wimped out EVERY TIME. I’m glad I’m writing this post… it’s a good reminder of MY PLAN. Wonder if I’ll ever execute. You’ll be the first to know.

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Comments

6 Responses to “All About MEme Monday”
  1. Shell says:

    OMG, you’re a good cousin. I would have let her take the fall. Then again, my cousin is kind of a &*%$@.

    [Reply]

  2. Shell says:

    Hey- you still need to fix your email for me so I can respond right to your comment!

    I posted mine around 7am, so I have a head start on you. ;)

    [Reply]

  3. Tracie says:

    That is so hilarious! If I ever get pulled over, I have a feeling that I will remember this….but I’ll probably wimp out and take the ticket.

    You are a much nicer cousin than any of the ones that I have!

    [Reply]

  4. Angel says:

    Oh yeah she ould have gone down and let your daddy go after her tucus lol

    [Reply]

  5. Valorie says:

    ooh, that’s a good excuse. I’ve never been able to come up witha good excuse, but I *may* start using this one. I’m sorry she didn’t end up taking the fall. :/

    [Reply]

  6. Dee says:

    My husband would have asked to see the blood. We have that kind of relationship where nothing icks him out. :)
    What is that cousin doing now-days??

    [Reply]

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