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I’m Entitled — to My Own Opinion…. (but that’s about it!) | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Saturday, August 19, 2017

I’m Entitled — to My Own Opinion…. (but that’s about it!)

February 23, 2010 by Kat  


Note ~ I’m the guest writer for:

WBBon Wednesday with this post; excited!


Entitled. I word echoed over and over from Tiger-not-so-outta-da-Woods on news programs all over the world, all weekend. Tiger admitted his faults, including his excuse for feeling entitled to be able to commit all of those moral no-nos, based on how hard he had worked; how far he’d come. Entitled. That word struck a chord in me.

  • Entitled: Just before I had my 2nd child, and was 50% done babymaking, I started my own consulting business and was bringing in some money. The money was slated to pay off some debts that had accrued during my career sabbatical from 2003-2004 —  even after living as frugally as humanly possible for @ a year.

  • Entitled: When I did start making a little itty bit of money, something began to happen. The items I would normally walk right past in a store (tunnel vision is mandated when going from 2 incomes to 1) now began calling my name from the shelves. I started convincing myself that even though our financial situation was not more forgiving, flexible, or lucrative, I was entitled.

  • Entitled: To splurge on items I never would have dreamt of splurging on, back when I wasn’t working. I would persuade myself that I deserved to freshen up my entourage of diaper bags. I’d talk myself into it being okay to get new designer sippy cups b/c I was bored of the old ones. Heck, what is another $7.99? Even though the budget didn’t allow, I did it. Upgraded bibs turned into Dansko shoes for mom… for and extra bins for the playroom turned into a new side table for the rec room. Heck, I work now! I presumed it was justifiable.

  • Entitled: Then, a few more kids later, I was working twice as hard to start another business. I had 1/2 the time, double the kids, and double the responsibility. Heck, I was willing to pay a little more for the short cuts that the retail grocery store provided (that typically cost double). I began upgrading my subconscious wishes; was giving further into temptation.  I’d pick up, adore, and just look the other way while I threw it in the shopping cart, vs. how I used to just not even go there, in my head.

  • Entitled: Just b/c I was working — but not yet making money — I would succumb to little devil’s voice on my shoulder as he whispered to me, convincing me that I was entitled. I deserved it. I work my as$ off as a parent, and although the company wasn’t cash flow positive yet — heck, I merited it.
    • Whether we’re a stay-at-home-mom (I was much more strict with my money then), a work-at-home-mom, a work-in-the-office mom… we all do so much for everyone else, we want to feel appreciated. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure helps buy things so we can (try to) look cute.
    • Why, because we work so hard, do we fell as we’re “owed” something back? That we’re entitled to it?

I’d get most frustrated when I’d look around at countless other families who seemed to be working as hard, or even a little less hard than we were, and they were so much further along, financially. Instead of facing the reality that we simply can’t afford whatever it was I wanted, I would just purchase it. Heck, maybe they don’t actually have money for their toys and clothes; maybe they just charged it also. Well, damn it, I’m going to, too! Two wrongs make a right, right?

Fortunately, all is paid off now, but I look back in disgust at how I felt entitled. And, I still sorta do.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not even talking big, extravagent things. More like: the newest phone.  Another Bluetooth headset.  A purse from Target to freshen up my accessories. A pair of cheap hoop earrings. You get the picture. Nothing big or extravagent… but nothing that was in the budget. I’d throw it in the cart because I felt as if I had earned it, for all of my diligence, tenacity, and devotion to my career, my family, husband, and my kids. And, heck… hubby is so conservative, unless it’s a birthday or Christmas, he will not be spending money on me. So, what’s a girl to do?  Why, spend it on herself, of course.

Entitlement is a scary way to justify. ANYTHING. It only causes problems, hurt, and hatred. The hatred part is more about Tiger-not-so-outta-da-Woods. The problems include in-congruencies in your checkbook, your relationships, and your explanation for things.

Please tell me you can relate. I know I’m not in this consumerism alone! Anyone else feel the same way?



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Comments

12 Responses to “I’m Entitled — to My Own Opinion…. (but that’s about it!)”
  1. Angel says:

    OH I hear ya loud nad clear and am there myself. Only I don’t have a credit card. We got our taxes back and I had a game plan for cushioning that flew out the window. Things for the kids, things for us, all things we didn’t need.. So Now I got a budget book from the christian book store and we ARE in this together…

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  2. Sarah Beth says:

    Definitely know what you’re saying – I work a second job just to make ends meet, but then I start thinking, hm…maybe I should get an apartment on my own, without a roommate. NO! Where is my father the accountant when I need him?

    Stopped by from SITS, but I thought I was already following you. Now I am!

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  3. Right there with you! Agree 100 percent. Also makes me think about how people lived ‘back then’. They didn’t need all the things we need now, and they were happy. These days it is like we just have to have these things because they are there, everyone else has them, and its the way we live today. How did we get here?

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  4. Laura says:

    Last year, I got a great job right out of college overseas. I’m not rich, but I’m making 3 or 4 times what most of my local riends make, and way more than my previous standard of living (which was pretty good to start with). I had planned on saving about $600 or $700 dollars a month. How much have I saved in six months? NOTHING. With birthdays, Christmas, traveling to the States once… it just goes right out the window, and I’m kicking myself.

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  5. Emmy says:

    I totally agree.. it is so easy to feel like we deserve something nice and just won’t more thing won’t matter.. but it is amazing how quickly just one more thing adds up. That is my trouble whenever I shop at the box stores, oh Alex needs another shirt, and this would help us be more organized, and Lucas needs another pair of flip flops, etc etc.. and then I go to pay and am shocked. Gotta stick with the list and remember those things aren’t worth it and don’t matter

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  6. Ally says:

    I do it, rationalize it, then feel all guilty, and then angry at the consumerism of our society that makes me want it in the first place! I do that “what’s another $10?”…. until I realize how many times I’ve done it!

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  7. supah says:

    excellent post… love the skew you took

    xoxo
    supah

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  8. debi9kids says:

    Definitely not alone! I am SO guilty of buying myself stupid little things just because…or, I should say, i was guilty. (my husband also doesn’t buy me much either)
    Now, we have no credit cards and buy NOTHING we can’t pay cash for.

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  9. I often feel guilty for buying myself stuff but then I think “Damn it I have the hardest job ever being a mom! I deserve it!!”

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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  10. Harriet says:

    I can so relate and you so deserve it all :)

    I’m stopping by to thank you for taking on the Comment Challenge.
    Good luck and thanks!
    Harriet

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  11. I know exactly what you are talking about. I’ve been living in Belize almost 7 years and living pretty much debt free. A few months ago I applied for and got a local credit card which I’ve managed to run up. What can I say, I felt entitled to some fun after skimping for so long… back to skimping now though.

    Stopping by from SITS. Welcome!!

    Cheers :-)
    - CoconutPalmDesigns

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  12. For me, the entitlement is more about time to myself, or a food reward–equally destructive!

    [Reply]

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