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“Not Me!” Mondays; Bojangles Hangover and Pretending Kids Aren’t Mine | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

“Not Me!” Mondays; Bojangles Hangover and Pretending Kids Aren’t Mine

March 15, 2010 by  

  • I did not pretend my children were not mine in the aisles of Target yesterday. Not Me!
  • I did not snicker when hubby watched the total AT the cash register topple out at $418.34 at Target. And, he saw that I didn’t sneak ANY clothes, make-up, toys for the kids, or electronics in there. ALL FOOD! Nope, I didn’t sarcastically pull a “see, told yah!” at him. Not Me!
  • I did not wake-up with a Bojangles “hang over” this morning.  Not Me!
  • I did not pick a zit prematurely on my temple/face last night (and without a mirror… cardinal rule #1!!) and am now regretting it. Not Me!
  • I did not throw a mini-temper tantrum when I realized my damn camera battery was DEAD right before taking pics of daughter on stage. Not me! Murphy’s freakin’ law.
  • I don’t believe Bojangles sneaks crystal meth into their Fried Chix for the addiction factor. Not Me!
  • Hubby and I did not pin our daughter down — literally, our knees on her elbows, on the floor — to change her earrings for the 1st time on Friday. She has been having a FIT for 6 mos. about it, and the tough love was in order! Not these sweet parents!
  • In finagling that move, I did not horrifically flash back to when my 4 older brothers would do the same thing (throw me on my back; sit on top of me; put their knees on my elbows to pin me down; and then lean their face over mine, BUT THEY let spit drip and drool down until it fell into my eyes, nostrils, and mouth as I screamed “UNCLE! UNCLE! UNCLE!”, or (under their instruction) “I WORSHIP YOU! I WORSHIP YOU! I WORSHIP YOU!”. Love ’em now, but what scum they were then! Not me! No trembling nightmares 30 years later.
  • Yesterday, I did not give my almost 2 year old a poor-excuse-for-a-Puerto-Rican-shower (albeit, only with wipies!) after he woke with shit up to his neck. We were going to be late for church if I went the ‘real soap and water’ route. Not me!

  • I did not totally pretend I knew who “Kayla from “So You Think You Can Dance” is so I could get a pic of her and my daughter. I did not Wikipedia her from my iPhone to find out, right there, on the spot. I did not then realize how freakin’ cool it was that she was one of the judges at her NC Dance Competition. Not Me!

  • I am not about to brag in this sentence (I swore I’d never! Never say never!) that at this competition where Kayla from “So You Think You Can Dance” was the judge, daughter’s Trio placed 1st Place, and her Company Production also placed 1st Place. Not Me! I am “so” not one of ‘those moms’.

7 year old daughter, just after Tap Trio


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15 Responses to ““Not Me!” Mondays; Bojangles Hangover and Pretending Kids Aren’t Mine”
  1. That’s a bummer about the camera battery. I would have thrown a tantrum too.


  2. Angel says:

    OH my batteries always do that so I have learned to take an extra pair lol


  3. Tracie says:

    My daughter got her ears pierced before Christmas and when it came time to take the “starter” earings out neither my husband or I could get them off. It was crazy. We finally took her back to the place that pierced them and made them take the earrings out (amid much screaming!) Crazy!

    The whole battery thing happens to me too. Annoying dead batteries!

    Here via We Believe Blogs! Have a great Monday!


    Kat Reply:

    I soo thought we were going to have to go that route! Get this… when we took out the earrings she had to wear w/her costume for her recital (the whole reason for the mean mommy and daddy) yesterday morning, her holes were crusty, a lil infected, and literally bleeding. Oyee Vehh. I was thinking it was the end. All worked out… but I can’t believe you had to GO to the place she got them done! She MUST have been flipping out!!


  4. Ha! Hilarious! …but only because it didn’t happen to me. 😉


  5. I’m glad you clarify that Bojangles is a food place, because at first I was wondering if it was some new, crazy drug. Though having food cravings myself, for me it possibly could be.


  6. Brandi says:

    I sneak stuff in my Target cart all the time!


  7. Shell says:

    Congrats to your daughter!

    I totally heart Kayla from SYTYCD. She was one of my favs!


  8. Matty says:

    From the sounds of everything going on in your life, you and your husband are pretty normal. Been there, done that with a number of your things.


  9. This is totally my life. I believe that there is a $50 entry fee just to get INTO Target. I never leave there under $100 bucks. Never. And yeah, my camera is always dead, full, or forgot to put the memory card back in at the worst times!


  10. Laura says:

    Congrats to your daughter!

    Oh my gosh… I can’t go into Target without grabbing all the cute things I see. Thank God there’s no Target in Cancun yet. I would be BROKE.


  11. Tracie says:

    I am NOT completely unprepared for dinner tonight. I am NOT going to feed my kids breakfast for dinner (again) or fast food for the 3rd night in a row.


  12. Nunya Bidness says:

    “Puerto Rican shower”? I am NOT completely familiar with that euphemism. Could you explain?


    Jennifer Lopez


  13. MandyP says:

    I cannot tell you how many freakin times my camera battery has died right when I need it most!!!!

    Congrats to your daughter and her dance company! That’s awesome!


  14. Jenn says:

    Have you seen the kids movie G-Force ? the Guinea pig one?
    first I am so sorry about your brothers! all I could think while reading it was a quote my daughter and I use from that movie…
    “the horror, the horror” in a really high voice!!! =)

    Hi from Sits!! =) Happy Sits Day!



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