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She Said: “Baby On Board” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Monday, June 26, 2017

She Said: “Baby On Board”

March 18, 2010 by Kat  

Mama's Losin' It If I had to relive a day in my life — what day would it be?

Gosh, not sure.  Scratch that. I know what DAYS they would NOT include. The 5 DAYS that precede ANY TRAVEL INVOLVED for this family of six (!). Hubs posted a “He Said” about traveling with the kids, after reading a CNN.com article. I haven’t read the article yet, but can’t help but respond to his version of a stressful flight.

HE SAID: So how am I when we are heading out for a flight?  I am an absolute train wreck.

SHE SAID: I have no pity for his analogy of feeling like a train wreck while heading out of for a flight. Big freakin’ woop.  Personally, I’m convinced that he gets all bent outta shape because he primarily only has experience flying by himself. The mad dash to the airport, and flight itself, are a breeze. Oh yeah, HE ALREADY KNOWS THAT BECAUSE HE’S ON A FLIGHT RIGHT NOW HEADED TO SAN JUAN (with no one smearing lollipops in his hair, or crapping in their pants on his lap, or puking between his legs) for a “Guys’ Weekend”. Must be nice. Must be nice.

What’s not a breeze is the nightmare PREP work that includes yours truly (me), and yours truly ONLY.
THE PREP WORK INVOLVED so the kids can remain entertained (and us, sane) for HOURS on end for a trip is not an easy task. The strategy involved is enough to spin 19 heads. The emotional, tactical and logistical planning involved in getting SIX PEOPLE (average age is under 7) READY for a car trip, or flight, makes me looney; it drags out days (not hours… which is the duration of a measly flight). And, all of this takes place while trying to co-run a company, manage an entire household, and run carpools all over God’s creation. I wish my biggest worry while packing for all of us (only) included: “Oh, I hope we’re not bothering anyone“.

If you’re looking for compassion dude, call a buddy (or lean over at the bar right now in San Juan, and complain to one of them. Not me).

HE SAID: Are we taking too long in the security line?

SHE SAID: Yes, we’re taking too long. At least we use manners, and actually say THANK YOU SO MUCH… THANK YOU SO MUCH… THANK YOU SO MUCH… PARDON US… PARDON US… PARDON US… Oh, SORRY ‘BOUT THAT… Oh, SORRY ‘BOUT THAT… Oh, SORRY ‘BOUT THAT… unlike most of the general public, from my perspective.

HE SAID: Are we making the guy behind us angry when we lift the baby up over our seat to play “peek-a-boo” with him?

SHE SAID: Yes, you are. That’s why I don’t do that.

HE SAID: Are we making 3 rows in front and 3 rows behind us mad from all of the yelling and screaming?

SHE SAID: If HE took a deep breath and instead of worrying what “everyone else thinks” all the time, maybe HE would see what’s really going on. Harmless excitement exuberating from their lips… they’re not complaining, pulling hair (common), punching (more common), pinching (even more common), or screaming at us (has been known to happen) or at each other… they’re just asking A MILLION QUESTIONS, and since they’re all asking them at the same exact time, they are left with no other option but TO ScReAm over their siblings (!!). In fact, the 3 rows in front and behind us are actually getting a kick out of our circus, and the kids’ innocent shrieks questions.  Now, the innappropriate questions I get asked by those throughout the airport, restrooms, and flight include: “All they all yours?”; “How close together are they?”; “Honey, surely your mother must have spoken to you about birth control…”; “Oh, you must be Mormon”; “Oh, I bet your Catholic, then”; “Did you plan them?”.

And, no, I’m not kidding. Anyone with 4 or more kids knows what I’m talking ’bout. It’s disturbing. Evidently, it’s illegal these days to have more than 3 kids

HE SAID: But Kat, she doesn’t have a care in the world.  Anytime I “shush” someone she always asks “what is the big deal?” or “why are you such a spaz?”

SHE SAID: He’s correct. “She” doesn’t have THE CARES AND FREAK OUT SESSIONS that she had for the 5 days prior trying to prepare so they CAN try to take some semblance of a ‘family outting’ that parallels calm, cool, and collected. Oh, I forgot… HE must have packed ALL of those suitcases, keeping in mind clothes and pjs for all, toiletries, diapers, food, every-possible-back-up-medicine-known-to-man-because-my-kids-will-99.999999999999%-get-sick-as-they-always-do-while-away, toys, socks, undies, and any gifts.

Kat packing snacks for the Flight ;-)

That DOESN’T INCLUDE the chunk of hours it takes to map out the diaper bag, and decide what needs to be strategically-placed-where for quick grabs… age-appropriate snacks for a toddler through 1st grader (God forbid they all ALL like the same thing), drinks, toys, books, batteries, movies, DVDs (see note about snacks; not an easy task), candy-for-emergencies, blah, blah, blah.

So, HE IS RIGHT. BY THE TIME I am sitting down in my flight, for the most part — I’ve controlled everything I possibly can with all of my prep work and pre-planning, and now I just have sit back, relax, and (pretend to) enjoy the ride.

HE SAID: Usually it’s because she’s typing on her laptop with two of the older kids, and I’m stuck with the two younger ones who are screaming her head off.

SHE SAID: Two things: I actually work while we travel. Co-running a business never gets time off. Secondly, maybe if you didn’t say, “You two go with Mommy, and I’ll take the younger two” this set-up wouldn’t be the one youre complaining about.



Final notes from HIS VERSION:
PS – My voice is very loud. I can’t control it. Being the youngest of six and gravely starving for attention (
Mom’s gonna love that one!), I had to scream to get noticed. Now, it’s just weaved into my being.  I’ve tried on many-of-occasion, only to fail miserable. Considering an ENT appt. I believe I must be hearing impaired, as I have ZERO sense of volume. Is this a public admission?

PSS – My kids do all scream over each other because IF YO
U DON’T SCREAM IN OUR HOUSE, YOU SIMPLY A’INT GONNA BE HEARD. END. OF. STORY.

PSS – DON’T EVER HUSH ME. This goes for anyone, and everyone. I get really ugly. I’m being serious.

**All Images Courtesy Google Images

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Comments

20 Responses to “She Said: “Baby On Board””
  1. I promise I will never ever hush you. Wouldn’t want to anyway–You’re pretty darn funny. So keep talking!

    Visiting from MamaKat’s…

    [Reply]

  2. Jen says:

    I refuse to travel in an airplane with my 3 children (5, 4, and 2)…did it once never again..we are car people!

    Love your blog! Happy Friday Follow!

    [Reply]

  3. Smart Ass says:

    Hush!! You too Dave.

    [Reply]

  4. Emmy says:

    So far our flight experiences have all been good, knock on wood. But up to this point we have never been out numbered… the next time we fly, we will be, we will see how it goes

    [Reply]

  5. Miss Welcome says:

    This. Is. Hilarious.

    Incidentally, if you had four kids in France, you would not only receive applause instead of inappropriate questions, but you would also receive 50% off all transportation expenses plus close to 400 euros a month financial aid regardless of your salary.

    Contemplating a move? :o )

    [Reply]

  6. Taryn says:

    I freaking love your posts. You are hilarious. This is hilarious and I can totally see it. Here’s a story… my 5 year old neice was sitting in the airport waiting with her family for the airplane… well right behind her was a midlle aged couple – obviously very conservative and nicely dressed, probably have no children or have never been around children. Well, my darling neice who is actually pretty well behaved was rocking back and forth bumping the seat behind her obviously… this snooty woman had the odacity to reach her hand over and bonk my neice on her head cuz she was annoyed. Didn’t ask once if her parents could ask her to stop. Of couse she started crying and of course there was yelling by her Mother to follow. They were appalled. The lady ignored everyone until security was informed and finally she says ” i didn’t hit her very hard” … WHAT!? well, luckily the couple was bumped to another flight because of this and maybe it was to her benefite / maybe not. Loud children or not… there is NO need to be that rude.

    [Reply]

  7. Tracie says:

    My husband is convinced that I have a hearing problem because I am always the loudest one in the room….I grew up in a loud family. I was an only child, but hey, my parent’s were loud, so I learned to be louder….and then I never outgrew it. At least I never have to be concerned that people don’t hear me, even if they are sitting on the other side of a crowded auditorium.

    I know people are rude to people with lots of kids, but I don’t get it. I would never go up to someone and say any of those things. Children are a blessing….and those other people need to get a life!

    [Reply]

  8. Lindsey says:

    Dropping in from mama kat’s and I love this post! Too funny! I only have two children and I refuse to fly with them. ever. I have yet to take both on a car trip that lasts more than three hours. You are a brave, brave woman.

    [Reply]

  9. MrsM says:

    I. Do. Not. Travel. [With our three children]. I don’t even go to the grocery store with more than one child at a time! You are brave, brave souls.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    You don’t!?!? That’s funny! I do the grocery store thing with all 4 of them from time to time and need a martini when I get home!

    [Reply]

  10. MandyP says:

    Ahhhhh, yes…the inappropriate questions. I’m hardly Michelle Duggar, yet people feel it necessary to remark about my four kids. We’ve never flown with kids, and I don’t intend to any time soon. We just made a 2 1/2 car ride this weekend and that was stressful enough!

    Sorry we haven’t been in touch recently. Miss ya!!!!

    [Reply]

  11. I’m super lucky that my little man is an awesome flyer…but only because he’s been flying pretty frequently since he was 3 months old. Oh yeah, and the fact that I only have ONE CHILD! You ladies with a bunch of kiddos in tow blow my mind when I see you flying the unfriendly skies. I bow down to you!!

    Hey you—I gave you a gift on my blog, so go check it out! Tried you on Twitter, but to no avail!

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Hey!! Okay, I didn’t know you only (not “only”, but…) have 1 child! C’mon… catch up to me! I got back to you on Twitter; my apologies – see me message to you. We flew with our kids since they were VERY small… weeks old, in fact. Cheers!

    [Reply]

  12. onewhoknows says:

    1. I believe I must be hearing impaired, as I have ZERO sense of volume. Is this a public admission?
    2. PSS – DON’T EVER HUSH ME. This goes for anyone, and everyone. I get really ugly. I’m being serious.

    1. This is true.
    2. This is also true! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

    [Reply]

  13. Mesina says:

    Oh I hear you! Although my kids are pretty awesome travellers, it doesn’t mean that we go without a hiccup. On the whole however, they stay entertained and behaved long enough for the trip there and make themselves look fab.

    But once we are there, let the hell begin people. Hell. Begin. Somewhere, someone has something their sibling was supposed to have, or touching their [insert some sort of toy/video game/body part here]. But the preparation that goes into any outing is enough to drive you batty!! xx

    [Reply]

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  1. pligg.com says:

    She Said: “Baby On Board”…

    If I had to relive a day in my life — what day would it be? Gosh, not sure.  Scratch that. I know what DAYS they would NOT include. The 5 DAYS that precede…

  2. She Said: “Baby On Board”…

    Gosh, not sure. Scratch that. I know what DAYS they would NOT include. The 5 DAYS that precede ANY TRAVEL INVOLVED for this family of six (!). Hubs posted a “He Said” about traveling with the kids, after reading a CNN.com article….

  3. pligg.com says:

    She Said: “Baby On Board”…

    If I had to relive a day in my life — what day would it be? Gosh, not sure.  Scratch that. I know what DAYS they would NOT include….



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