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Why didn’t they ask me? – Mama Kat’s Workshop | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Why didn’t they ask me? – Mama Kat’s Workshop

March 25, 2010 by Kat  

  • Why didn’t they ask me why I’m so loud?

  • Why didn’t they ask me if I preferred Hunts or Heinz (BIG ISSUE WITH THIS, ladies and gentleman)!! Please tell me you know the O.B.V.I.O.U.S !

  • Why didn’t they ask me what my house used to look like when we first bought it? (b/c, lemme tell you, this chick has come a RIDICULOUS LONG way, in terms of decluttering and obtaining a sense of decorating style)

  • Why didn’t they ask me if my oldest (of 3) son(s) has ALREADY tried every other sport under the sun, until we landed on this? – for now, anyway…

We have lots of friends with kids the same ages of our children. Tons of little guys who are ALL BOY live in our neighborhood; it seems most of our friends from college also have a little guy(s).  Of our friends from college, most of their “little guys” aren’t yet big enough to play aggressive sports. But, I would imagine that they “envision” THEIR boy(s) to be a certain way. Don’t we all? As we’re growing up, we all pictures in our heads what our forecasted family will look like… whose footprints they’ll follow… and what sports they’ll play.

Them: “So, what sport is your oldest son doing this spring? Soccer? Lacrosse?”
Me: “Nope, he’s doing Hip-Hop”.

Them: “Oh… my.  Umm. Wow. Ummm.  That’s really cool.  Welp, does he like it? Is he good?”
Me: “Yes and yes. He loves it, and he’s actually pretty good.”

Them: “Well, that’s what’s the most important thing, right?” (As they shudder, and think: “Wait til I tell my hubby about THIS ONE!!!! He’s gonna die!!!!!! We would NEVER”).
My addt’l perceptions about what they think: “O – M – G. MY. HUBBY. WOULD. HAVE. A. COW. WE. WOULD. NEVER. EVER. DO. THAT. TO. HIM.  He’s a boy… what are they trying to do? Make him gay?”

Again, no one has ever actually said that, but I KNOW THEY WANTED TO. And, maybe your hubby would have a cow. If you were to ask me 6 months ago if my hubs would EVER consider (or let) our eldest boy “dance”, I would have said NO FREAKIN WAY. But, when your 5 year old has tried Flag Football, Tai Kwon Do, Gymnastics, Soccer, Golf… you name it. And he just absolutely dreaded going… it gets old. And, quickly.

This past October, at a family wedding, this same son (our oldest) flippin’ ripped up the dance floor. (What felt like) About 200 were people telling us that THIS was his calling; we thought “What the heck” and threw our hesitance to the wind.


Let me just tell you: I would NOT be disappointed if our oldest of 3 sons winds up like Zac Efron from High School Musical. And, let me also tell you… the guys at our dance studio are nothing short of AMAZING. I’m confident hubs is comfortable with this choice because:

A. He has 2 younger sons who beat the snot out of each other, and the two of them (at least!) will definitely want to play an aggressive sport

B. It’s sooo rewarding to see your child excited about, and look forward to, something… NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.  We have to NOURISH what they want, and what they feel pulling them.

It’s funny how much you GROW UP once you have children. You realize it’s not about directing them where YOU WANT THEM TO GO, but where their soul is guiding them. I know too many families where the parents impose what they want for their child onto their child. The end result? Resentment.


This was a writing prompt from:

Mama's Losin' It

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Comments

22 Responses to “Why didn’t they ask me? – Mama Kat’s Workshop”
  1. What a beautiful lesson – totally made my night!

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  2. amber says:

    Oh, I’m so glad he’s found something he loves! That’s a lesson I’ll have to remember when my T gets a bit older.

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  3. You are speaking my language! My oldest, Drama Boy, is an actor and has been doing musicals since he was like 3…he’d sing all of Godspell in his top bunk. Today, in one of the top 5 arts high schools in the US. He’s surrounded by like minded peeps and has found his place, and he’s good at it!! Second son, drummer. Third son, athlete. Daughter, athlete. Fourth son, tries a little of what everyone else is into! It’s fun and I wouldn’t trade it for a thing!
    ~kristin

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    Kat Reply:

    Kristin – LOVE your insight…. coming from a pro with 5 kiddos! Wow, singing Godspell that young. You just knew, didn’t you? Love the drummer thing, too. How cool! And, a mix of athletes. Unreal!

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  4. MandyP says:

    I have always said that I would LOVE it if one of my boys wanted to dance. Hiop Hop dancers are some of the strongest and most graceful athletes I’ve ever seen. I think one of my little guys will dance…can’t wait to see!!

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    Kat Reply:

    Meanwhile, I must add that he also takes tap/jazz/ballet as a “base”, in addition to the hip hop. He started w/the want to hip hop, but has said he likes jazz best! I wish you lived closer so you guys could go to our studio!

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  5. Stopping by after I read your post at Stir Fry! You are soooo funny. Tell those stuck up other parents that give you looks to just step off! And your post on Tracie’s blog hit home because hubs is away for work right now, and if he comes back in this house with a gigantic smile, all refreshed, I may smack him. Just sayin’. :)

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    Kat Reply:

    Listen – I totally get it! And, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the name “annie”.

    Wish I could give ur hubs the heads up about NOT coming home w/a smile on his face…

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  6. Nunya Bidness says:

    ….on a side note – Zac Efron is a turd.

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    Kat Reply:

    Jealously doesn’t look good on you….

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  7. kelley says:

    Good job! poeple can be so darn nosey and condescending without even realizing it…

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    Kat Reply:

    I know, I know…

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  8. Kat says:

    Test

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    Kat Reply:

    Test 2

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  9. Kat says:

    Test 3

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Test 4

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  10. Ally says:

    Hip Hop is awesome exercise, and takes grace and skill! Good for him! And good for you as parents!
    And what the heck is it with that Zac Efron kid, anyway?

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  11. Aww I think it’s cute! My hubs took… get this… breakdancing as a kid. Yea, it’s true.

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    Kat Reply:

    Nice! And he actually married a girl? Kidding, of course… but I swear some nieve strangers think he’s doomed for homosexuality… which, honestly, I don’t think would bother me a bit! He could he me redecorate and go shopping with me when I (hopefully??) finally have money, and the kids are all outta the house. How cliche, ehh? And what a broad generalization, I know. Just flowed from my fingers….

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  12. OMG…first off, Heinz. No question. Secondly, Husband & I have been talking about sending BigBoy, our five year old to dance class too. Neither of us have a problem with it, but I certainly got an eye roll from my brother. whatever. We’re just contemplating swimming (which I can hear the screaming and crying now, but for god’s sakes we live by the beach and go to the pool 3xs a week in the summer, the kid needs to learn how to swim NOW) or dance (which I know he’ll love). This practical mommy is torn. Just want to say, GOOD ON YA!, for knowing who your child is and supporting that.

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  13. Jayme says:

    That is so awesome that your son is doing Hip Hop! I have a similar situation with my 8 yo son. He has tried several different sports including soccer and baseball but he is just not into sports at all. He really does love to dance. Maybe we should try Hip Hop too! We have dance aprties every so often and the 4 of us jsut turn onsome music and dance our butts off. It is too much fun. Bravo to you and your hubs for letting him do what makes him happy.

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  14. debi9kids says:

    Great post!
    My oldest son David took hip-hop for a few years when we still lived in NJ ED it and if I could find him a decent class in PA, he’d still be dancing.

    Good for you standing behind your son’s dreams :)

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