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One-Up Weekend: “Public Humiliation” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Monday, October 15, 2018

One-Up Weekend: “Public Humiliation”

March 27, 2010 by  

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  • Please share a story below (in Comment Section) about a seriously humiliating public embarrassment. Whether you were 4 years old, 14, 24, or 34… we want to hear it!

  • C’mon… High School stories and College Shenanigans-gone-wrong. We know you have ’em. A parenting public humiliation? A horror story about when you were someone’s girlfriend? Mishaps during your budding career?

PS – Although the juicier the story, the better… your story does NOT need to be some saga about getting caught by an officer with you and your hubby (or ex-boyfriend!) in a compromised position in a public place; or, your skirt being tucked into your shirt in a ba
r (Today’s Cliche’s story, seriously!!)… Divulge. Get it out. It’ll feel good.


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27 Responses to “One-Up Weekend: “Public Humiliation””
  1. Kat says:

    I have two RIDICULOUSLY embarrassing ones — both took place at SAME place, just a month apart. I’ll spare you with just one… since the other has to do with my children’s poop/s#it and the Principal!

    – I’m in Carpool line, #3 in place. About 100 cars behind me (to p/u their elementary school kids). I head over to the grass area for the kids to play.
    ** Now mind you, I’ve already had 3 incidents (two of which included my battery dying) with a line of 100 behind me… and it was A BIG SCENE [as mentioned, the other incident included the feces from one of my sons, and the principal] )
    – I notice it’s time to get back in the car, turn it on, and move up to get the kids.
    – When I tell you 35 people were SCOURING the grass, the street, the sidewalk… THE GUTTERS.. for my keys (as no one could get past me! It was ONE LANE where I was parked) — I am not kidding
    – From school administrators and crossing guards, to teachers and parents… ALL were asking my children, “Little Man… did YOU hide Mommy’s keys? If so, it’s not funny”. Or (the best): “Can you tell me where you dug a hole and buried mommy’s keys, son?”
    – We were on our hands and knees… some teachers were using their fingers to dig up (what looked like little holes) my sons had dug in the school grass. Nothing.
    – Peering into gutters got us no where.
    – I was MORTIFIED with a CAPITAL “M” that all these people were sticking their noses into my car… even going through breastmilk stained and smelly diaper bags, looking for the keys.
    About 15 min into the search… my 4 year old says, “Mommy, I know where they are!”. The search team stopped dead in their tracks: “The Leprechauns took ’em” (It was like March 20th, 2009).

    About 5 minutes later, someone comes SKIPPING out of the main office, swinging my keys.

    Somehow, between the 8 foot walk from my car to the grass area, my keys fell outta my pocket, someone saw them… picked them up… and brought them to lost and found. THEY COULDN’T HAVE SAID, “Hey, are these keys anyone’s?” (I was the only one sitting there!).

    The embarrassing part was that EVERYONE KNEW IT WAS ME b/c of my huge, obnoxious car with the ridiculous family stickers (which have since been removed if you read one of my past “Wordless Wednesdays” posts).

    I headed home and poured a phat Apple Martini that afternoon, that’s for sure.



  2. Shell says:

    I can’t win this one. I seriously blank that sort of thing out. To avoid thinking about the humiliation. Either that, or said event took place when I consumed so much alcohol that I truly don’t remember anyway(we’re talking more than 10 years ago if I had that much- not now as a responsible mom….LOL)

    My first humiliation at work, though, was my first year teaching. The teachers on my team were all having lunch together- there were 10 of us. And one of the other first years was talking about her mentor and complaining. And I said, “Yeah, I can’t even remember who my mentor is.” Hey, idiot- your assigned mentor is SITTING RIGHT ACROSS FROM YOU. Everyone else just stopped talking and stared at me. Because THEY all knew who my mentor was. But, it was the end of the year and she’d only ever talked to me about any help the first week of school. I’d completely forgotten! Foot in mouth moment!


    Kat Reply:

    WHY WHY WHY do we all (ME INCLUDED!!) get soo dumb, when we’re supposed to be our smartest. I can typically think very clearly and smoothly initiate or continue a convo… but when around: work people… or people with whom you’re “supposed to be” ON IT — I always screw up. SOO annoying, right?

    Bet ur mentor felt about weeeeeeee little. THanks for sharing, Shell!! Means so much!


  3. Amber says:

    This Christmas I was so excited about this one particular “holiday mixer” we were invited to. It was a Columbia University alumni mixer and it was being held at the mayor’s home. I was so pumped and felt SO GROWN UP!

    Another thing about me is that I am notoriously bad about buying new undergarments, particularly bras. And the bra I had one this night had a broken underwire – like busting through the bra fabric.

    Halfway through the evening – my husband looks down at me and his eyes BULGE. He whispers “Oh my gosh, what is sticking out of your sweater?!?” Oh yes, it was my underwire. I just about died!!!


    Kat Reply:

    Thank you FOR THE FREAKIN laughs. My shoulders are actually shrugging and tears down face. This would soo happen to me!


  4. MandyP says:

    I have a humiliating experience (well, sadly many of them) that I would rather forget, but for your reading pleasure, I will share….

    I used to work retail many moons ago. I was a manager of a teen/college girls’ clothing store. It was a VERY busy weekend night in the summer and I was behind the checkout desk trying to manage all the craziness going on. I had to keep getting into the big filing drawer that was behind the register, but facing the wall. I had to bend down a little to open it and to rummage through it while my back was to everyone. I must have done this 70 times that night. Finally, there was a break in the action and I excused myself to “powder my nose.” As I’m sitting on the throne, taking a moment to catch my breath and think about the orld’s problems, I looked down at my pants and saw…the floor…through my pants. With that rush of heat like you get when you see red lights in your rear-view mirror, I realized that the seam of my pants had ripped out. Who knows HOW LONG I was MOONING all of the customers in that very busy store that night?!?!?!? The worst part, they were form- fitting pants and I didn’t have any thong undies, so I was *ahem* commando! I have no clue how many people saw my sideways smile that day! (And I don’t really want to know.) What I DO want to know is why NONE of my staff felt it was necessary to tell me that my a*s was totally hanging out for all the world to see!


    Amy Reply:


    I laughed SO hard reading this!! I cannot believe no one told you! How horrifying!


  5. Where. To. Start. I pretty much make a career of embarrassing myself.

    I remember the day that we were visiting family and I went to the bathroom. I was wearing the prettiest flared white skirt with tights and white ankle boots (because it was the 80s and ankle boots were awesome). I felt like a figure skater. Except figure skaters don’t tuck the back of their skirts into their tights and moon diners full of people.

    And then there was the time in college when I thought that gin was a good idea. That was followed by the even better idea of singing Greased Lightning at the top of my lungs (with full choreography, of course), and falling bass-ackwards over my dorm mini fridge. Awesome.

    You want more recent? How about yesterday, when we were at lunch at Sea World. My son was napping, so I left him with Daddy to go to the bathroom. All the way across the ginormous counter service restaurant (read: huge, crowded, noisy). As I was washing my hands, I heard the horrible shrieking of a child, who was clearly being tortured. I thought to myself “Self, that couldn’t be YOUR baby.” On closer inspection? It was. Earth? Swallow me whole.


  6. Anon says:

    FYI – this story is way TMI! Read at your own risk!

    So I was about 12 and at basketball camp. We were staying in this cabin (seriously, who has basketball camp for kids in the woods?) where there were about 10 bunkbeds filled with girls and only 1 bathroom. Literally. 20 12-year-old girls sharing 1 bathroom. Hell already.

    I’ve never been good at being away from home and I have a terribly nervous stomach when I’m in unknown situations. So I get the runs pretty bad. So bad, in fact, that one time, I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time (remember 20 girls & 1 bathroom = BAD). So when I finally got in, I had a big ol’ mess and I realized I was on my last pair of undies (it was the last day of camp and no one taught me to take tons of extra undies!) So I had to clean them out in the sink.

    Because I was taking so long, someone came in and everyone started laughing at me (we’re talking 12-year-old girls, here.) Then we were due on the basketball court, but I wasn’t ready, so I ended up being late.

    The girls had to tell the coaches (all males) why I wasn’t there, so EVERYONE knew my horrible story. When, I arrived I was mortified. Oh yea, and one of the coaches was/is a local radio show traffic guy. Nothing like a local celebrity knowing your most embarrassing story!!

    Now I take at least 3 extra pairs of undies PER DAY when I travel and make sure my kids do too. They think I’m a lunatic LOL!


  7. Susan says:

    I am a good one for public humiliation. On a few noted occasions I have done the pee and dart thing- where you go to the bathroom really quick before you leave. Get the kids in car- drive to where you are going, come home to realize you didn’t zip up your zipper in your rushed trip to the bathroom.


  8. Catherine says:

    While volunteering at school this week, I had the opportunity to run into my boy and all his friends in the hallway. For some crazy reason I looked him square in the face and said, “S’up“.


    Kat Reply:

    OMG!! Can picture my sis who has a teenage son doing that — PURELY ON ACCIDENT, of course! So funny. That better NOT happen to me!


  9. Tracie says:

    Recently at the grocery store I tried to write a check with a tampon.


    Kat Reply:

    Was it a used one, or new one?


  10. Cheryl says:

    Fun meme! I know I’ve had a ton, but the most recent one I can remember happened when I was out to lunch with X, who was 5 months, and Sage to celebrate Sage’s friend’s birthday. We were at Ruby’s Diner and X was fussy. So in order to keep him quiet, I basically nursed him throughout the lunch. He actually slept quite a bit too.

    Anyway, I was already embarrassed because while loading kids into the car, I must’ve leaned on a tire and I literally had the word “GOODYEAR” imprinted in black across my butt.

    So lunch is almost over, and I lift X out from under my Hooter Hider and stood up – which is when I noticed X had leaked poop all over the front of my shorts (and you know how yellow and liquidy baby poop is!).

    I had to get him (and myself) out to the car, meaning I had to walk through the whole restaurant and say hi to some moms I knew who were sitting in the front, all with poop on my thigh and a tire print on my ass.

    I get out to the car – and the wipes are all dry! I had to spit on them to clean off X. And of course I never think to bring a spare change of clothes for me!

    Oh – I also had to walk back through the restaurant to collect Sage.

    Good times!


  11. Good grief…I have to pick ONE embarrassing story? Hmm….which shall I choose…

    Oh hell, if I’m letting the cat out of the bag then I might as well go all out on this one.

    Back in college, there was a guy that I had been dating for a few months. This IS college we’re talking about, so of course I spent the night at his place quite a bit on weekends. And don’t even try to judge me because pretty much everyone was a “shacker” in college. Yes, I shacked up once in a while. And yes, I have done the dirty with a few dudes other than my husband.

    Anyway, I realllly liked this guy a LOT. He was one of those Southern Gentlemen types (or at least he was until the lights went out) and he was very polite, minded his manners, etc. Well, imagine my horror when we both woke up early after a night out on the town because of an extremely LOUD sound. And that loud sound was a GINORMOUS FART coming from MY BUTT. And I can’t forget to mention the fact that somewhere during the course of the night, I had rolled over and his hand was directly under my ass. That’s right. I farted on Mr. Southern Gent’s HAND. And I know he heard it and woke up because I did too. I didn’t know what to do, so I just pretended to be asleep for a bit longer.

    About 20 minutes later, I quietly rolled over, retrieved my bra from his bedroom floor, and high-tailed it out of there. He never called me again.


    Kat Reply:

    OH, girl… that is J_U_I_C_Y!!! I don’t know which part if more funny… the word “GINORMOUS” (don’t think I’ve ever quite seen it spelled before!), “Mr. Southern Gent’s HAND” written out… or “retrieved my bra from his bedroom floor”.

    ROTFL. I needed this giggle tonight!

    WHere’dya go to college?



  12. thenextmartha says:

    Once in highschool my friend had an idea to tee-pee some guys houses. Sounds innocent enough until we got to the store to buy the goods and realized that a group of girls loading up with toilet paper would look suspicious. We decided to get creative. We decided that we would buy random items and use those. On the list: Chicken livers, toothpaste, ketchup, toilet paper, maple syrup, eggs, laundry soap, maxi pads, and maybe some raisins, you get the picture. Long story short (it is a good one) we got caught. By police. We were sent home until a week later when they connected the cases together. We had “hit” maybe 5 or 6 houses. We were sitting in the room with the officer going over what we had done with our parents in the room. As he listed stuff we just sat there. Then he paused. He then said “And you had maxi pads with ketchup stuck to the chairs?” Um, where did you say that hole was?


  13. JenJen says:

    There comes a time in everyone’s life when you attend a wedding every dang weekend for a whole summer. It’s like once the first brave soul pops the question, it gives the “go ahead” to all the other timid lovers in waiting. Then, a year after that, those same blissfully in love saps jockey for the same perfect day on which to profess their sappiness to one another in front of 53 people at The Ceremony and 253 at The Reception.

    Our cycle was ten years ago. It was the umpteenth wedding we attended, and ours was on deck for the next summer. I was weddinged-out. My Fiance (giggle..been almost 10 years since I called him that) on the other hand, had not tired of The Open Bar, er.. The Reception. The weddings this year were college buddies and fraternity brothers. True to Frat Boy Form, making the bartender your besty was top priority.

    At dinner (also known as the Buzz Kill) we sat like grown ups; cloth napkins, elegant dress, too many forks, spoons and glasses, and did our very best to look sophisticated. I was feeling pretty-damn-la-ti-da when dinner was over. We stood, mingled, and did the Hustle, YMCA, and the “Shook Me All Night Long” until we were pooped. My husband sat down, I went to the ladies room to, well use it. (At age 20-something, you go into the ladies room to check your hair, at age 30-something, you go in to put your boobs back in your bra, and your ass back in your Spanx). When I came back, I stood with my hands on the back of the chair, casually chatting it up to the girlfriend of a Brother.
    I looked back over my shoulder, and down and saw my Fiance (not so charming at this point, and by the way I had other names for him), biting my ass. Yessir.
    Leaned over,and bit.my.ass.
    So, I did the only thing a self-respecting sophisticated woman in an elegant dress could do.
    That is the sound my hand made as it met his precious cheek.
    Is the sound the “brotherhood” made at the sight.
    Is how F*cking cold it was that night for my Fiance.

    Today, we laugh at his idiocy. He grimaces at the memory of him channeling his inner ass-vampire


  14. I'm Jane says:

    I once got suckered in to dressing up as the school mascot (a Panther) in high school. It was for a giant football rally and the whole school was in the auditorium. My only responsibility was to drag a wagon containing the “BELL” (which was the prize that went to the victor of the annual local high school rivalry – to be played that week) around the auditorium so the crowd could cheer and marvel at my ‘panther-ness’. Except that I got kind of excited and went too fast. And then the whole wagon tipped over and the Bell face-planted into the gym floor. There was a second of silence and then the whole school body cracked up. I was mortified but figured I had one of two outs…run and cry or stay and bow. I stayed and bowed, wagged my panther tail and got that bell back in the wagon. I am pleased to report that the gym floor still had a dent in it from the bell I dropped on it! Ah, high school.


  15. Anon says:

    This is the best idea! These stories are amazing.

    Mine aren’t as good, so I can’t one-up! I’ll try anyway…

    I was in a bookstore at the mall, and there was a huge line for the bathroom. I was on my period, which often gives me a serious case of diarrhea! (Ah, the joys of womanhood!) So I go in, do my business, and, of course, THE TOILET DOESN’T FLUSH. I look down, and sure enough the toilet is filled with watery poo and massive amounts of blood. Charming. I sheepishly walk out and tell the next lady in line that it doesn’t work. Thank God nobody walked in there while I washed my hands. I walked out in a very dignified manner, although rather quickly. Sooo sorry to whoever had to fix that toilet!

    The camp story reminded me of when I was 10 and I’d just started to get my period a few months before. Being inexperienced, I hadn’t brought pads with me to camp. One day as we were preparing to go out and play some sports, I saw spotting in my undies when I went to the bathroom. Panicking, I said I would be a little late, but my counselor insisted on waiting for me while the other girls left. I did the only thing I could think of… I wrapped toilet paper around the crotch of my undies and walked out. Later on in the day, I noticed I had toilet paper hanging out of my shorts. No idea if anyone had noticed… dear God, I hope not!


    Kat Reply:

    Yeah!!!!!!!!!! Our first TRUE “Anonymous” POSTER!!! This is what it’s all about!! OMG, I’m dying, these stories are so freakin’ funny.

    #1 – I think I just saw you in the public bathroom at Target…. do you live in NC? someone “just” did the same thing to me yesterday! I totally knew what was going on. I’m getting the ebbee-jeebeez just thinking about it!

    #2 – (TMI, for sure), when i was a teenager I performed the stellar move you did in your second paragraph when I was too embarrassed to ask someone for a “napkin” (how gay is that word?). However, luck was on my side those days and no dangling cotton strips!!

    Thanks for participating. Flipp’ love it!


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