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She Said: If I Could Rewind the Blog… | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Sunday, June 25, 2017

She Said: If I Could Rewind the Blog…

April 29, 2010 by Kat  

It’s Thursday – which means it’s time for another stimulating set of prompts from Mama Kat and her Writer’s Workshop!  I had the pleasure of meeting Mama Kat at Bloggy Boot Camp 2 months ago. Mama Kat is as fab as a fellow Kat can get.

I chose prompt #3: List five things you would do different if you started blogging today.

1. Not tell friends or family that I’m blogging (my best material includes JUST ABOUT ALL OF THEM!)

2. Not tell friends or family that I’m blogging (my best material includes JUST ABOUT ALL OF THEM!)

3. Not tell friends or family that I’m blogging (my best material includes JUST ABOUT ALL OF THEM!)

4. Not tell friends or family that I’m blogging (my best material includes JUST ABOUT ALL OF THEM!)

5. Not tell friends or family that I’m blogging (my best material includes JUST ABOUT ALL OF THEM!)


Seriously, I just want to kick myself in the crotch with regrets for having told my peeps I was going to blog. Admittedly, I can’t imagine having not told my inner circle BFFs — they have supported me beyond measure. And, only by the endorsements and follo
wing from friends of my past, via Facebook, have I been able to grow Today’s Cliche as rampantly as I have. So, for those reasons I don’t have regret(s).

BUT… BUT… BUT…

Aside from the fact that my BEST material is about all of you :oops: : – here’s also why I semi-regret friends and family knowing about my blog:

When I started Today’s Cliche, I was on the fence about telling my parents. However – and I hope this isn’t taken the wrong way – I was so proud of the site I developed and designed, absent from basically ANY direction. l had a vision, and feverishly learned as I toppled each obstacle.  It was a new endeavor for me; Today’s Cliche quickly became, and still is, commensurate to my 5th baby. How could I not include my parents in on that secret?

On one end of the spectrum, I had a feeling that by telling my parents about the launch, my material would be limited, if yah know what I mean (for some reason, I still care WAY WAY WAY too much about what my parents think!). I knew I would have to omit anything racy or raw.  On the other end of the spectrum, how could I NOT share with them a major accomplishment in my life?

Less than a week before my Mom passed, she mentioned to a sibling her shock and dismay that I was (not exact words, but close enough) “writing about my sex life for the entire world to see” after reading this post. Oh, she was disgusted. I am convinced she was disappointed and, in my heart, I fear that she was scratching her head thinking, “After all my hard work in raising her to be a little lady (meanwhile, I’m far from that, as you can see from this post and this post), she has the audacity to write this post?” She was mortified. But, I spoke of the true realities RE: being in a marriage with 4 kids.

Personally, I don’t think that post was even close to terribly graphic — c’mon, pah-lease! It is 2010, yah know. People want REAL. People want RAW. But, it rubbed my mom the wrong way, and….

… And, not to make my sibling feel badly about telling me… but sadly, that is the last “thing” that I know  of that she said about me, or my decisions, before she died.

Not sure if I’m having a pity party for myself, as I know she was proud of me… but why am I still focused on this one comment?

So, my opinion still (sorta) stands: One thing I wish I did differently was to not let friends and family know about my blog.  If I didn’t filter ANY of my thoughts, for fear of offending people, OH THE MATERIAL. WOULD. BE. SO. GOOD. I. DON’T. EVEN. KNOW. HOW. TO. TELL. YOU. One will never know, though.

PS – NOTICE the feature: Wanna Blog?” It allows seasoned Bloggers, AS WELL AS newbies to the Blogging scene, a chance to air it all out, without fear of being egg’ed – and earning some income along the way. The offer’s still there! This could be YOUR SHOT at learning from my lesson!


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Comments

28 Responses to “She Said: If I Could Rewind the Blog…”
  1. Tracie says:

    For a long time my blog was a secret, then a friend found out about it by accident, and not knowing it was a secret told…well, pretty much everyone! I went into immediate panic mode and considered shutting the whole thing down. Especially with how I talk about the SA on my blog, I wasn’t sure how that would go down with people I hadn’t told the entire story to. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t hit that delete button. It is still a little sad when I think about all the blogging material I have missed out on (I have an old boyfriend who reads…that alone cute out so much material!!) but I’m happy in the way it has helped me to be more open with those who know me in real life.

    My mom knows about it, and she has called me cringing more than once asking, “do you have to say that?!?! You know ___ was a really personal thing to say, I’m not sure it was appropriate” but just when I thought she was in total disapproval and hatred of my blog, I was told by another family member how she had bragged on how well I write and had shown off my blog to a co-worker who was thinking about starting one. It reminded me that even when she doesn’t love every decision I make or every post I do, she is still proud of all the work I put into my blog and into my writing. I don’t want to step over any lines here, but I’m sure your mom was proud of you too. Even if she hated that one post (or more than one)….all the other posts and all your hard work are probably what she really thought of when she reflected on your blog, and I’m sure she was proud.

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  2. Shell says:

    I still haven’t told my friends and family about my blog, except for my bff. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell them. Though, the more I blog, the harder it is not to talk about it.

    I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. I’m sure she was proud of you. Love you, girl!

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    Kat Reply:

    Shell, you’re amazing. How was the move? Smooth? I recall you telling me no one knows about your blog (in Baltimore) and I was just shocked that since you’re so successful… I can’t imagine not being tempted to share that w/your fam. How in the WORLD do you keep in a secret? Thanks for your warm thoughts about me w/my mom’s passing. Means so much!

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  3. In all honesty…would you really not tell family and friends?? Come on, admit it…it’s kinda fun getting their responses! :) (I am sorry about your mom’s last one. But, I’m thinking it was probably about being old fashioned-proper, than not being proud of you…’cause I’m sure she is!)
    BTW, your husband’s response was a crack up today!
    ~kristin

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    Kat Reply:

    Kristen… okay, okay, you’re right. I would not be able to keep it a secret. I’m trying to believe it’s the old fashioned thing… not sure though. Hugs!

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  4. MandyP says:

    Oh, Kat, I didn’t know that about your mom. I’m sure she was so ridiculously proud of you! You are someone like NO OTHER I have ever met. Your mom “done good” with raising you! I LOVE that you are real and your blog reflects that. If we wanted stale and boring, we would certainly not come here! You guys are IT…the real deal. And I, for one, am lovin’ it!

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    Kat Reply:

    Okay, talk about being “real”… look at you! You’re MUCH more candid than I… I wish I could peel off another one of my layers for the Blog. Maybe. Some. Day. ?!?!?! Hugs, Mandy…

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  5. Jayme says:

    You know that she was so proud of you! Don’t let that one comment upset you! I do also wish sometimes that I hadn’t told my family either. My mom told me the other day that she was a little surprised about some of the things I wrote about. I told her that my blog was tame compared to others. I love real bloggers too, like you. I think that it is important to share the real you.

    The worst part though is when my hubs tells me that I cannot put something in my blog. That is usually the good stuff too!

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  6. Becky says:

    I’ve always wrestled with this one too, Kat. And you’re right, there is no lack of excellent material amongst friends. Not mentioning names outright can be helpful, prior notification also helps smooth the way to “outing” those characters involved. It also depends on the story and the reason for telling it…is it tattling? titilating? gossipy? is there a moral context? are you trying to illustrate a point? a cost/benefit ratio? bring to light a larger issue?

    As for your Mom and your Blog…remember that she was of a different generation…with vastly different norms for what was and was not appropriate subject matter for conversation (for example: how many of our friends have been comforted by talking to someone after a miscarriage — a topic that a generation or two ago would never have been broached…a heartbreak a woman was just expected to bear silently.) So try not to dwell on that one comment…just continue to do your best and keep her smiling and laughing up in heaven. 0:-) (that’s my best attempt at an emoticon for an angel) ; )

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    Kat Reply:

    Your response speak so closely to me, Beck. Especially the analogy to a miscarriage, and how VERY differently our generation would deal with this, vs. our parents.

    RE: your 1st paragraph, I’ve had to give my sister “prior notification” on more than one occasion (sorry, Cyn!)… All of your questions you pose are accurate and poignant. Even though I could make an excuse for almost everyone of them, I fear offending someone. Gosh, I’m such a wimp!

    So, until I REALLY GROW SOME hairy balls, I’m just gonna keep making fun of myself and Dave… Or so, I’ll have all of you (hopefully?) thinking that. Love yah!

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  7. Shy says:

    Ok, so I have to say that I do not read any other blog but yours (probably b/c I never had an interest) but it’s the realness of it that keeps me reading! It’s good to know that I am not the only woman in America that is going CRAZY tring to keep husband, kid(s) happy, balance 2 businesses, have a social life and try to squeeze in some me time all on the same breath! (WHEW!!) Also, your mom loved you for who you are and remember you guys grew up in TOTALLY different liberation eras! She was not from the era when women openly spoke out about having a sex life, but WE are! I have to say at first I was a touch bit taken a back by that post too, BUT, only because I wasn’t expecting it from you! Ha, ha! It made it all the more JUICIER because I can totally get the big picture and relate! All in all I am absolutely, positively w/out question 110 percent sure that no matter how mortifying it may have been for her, she was SO utterly proud of you and your accomplishments.

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    Kat Reply:

    I can not believe you couldn’t believe I’m a normal, happily married, 30 something whose husband is a normal, happily married, 30 something who often puts the moves on me… funny stuff. Meanwhile, I know what your side job is (wink wink) and you know more about others’ lives (hee hem) than most.

    Thanks for the warm compliments about how proud my mom must be of me. It just feels good to hear, doesn’t it?

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  8. Gail says:

    I will admit my own desire to have anyone, ANYONE read my writing led me to tell all my friends and family about it. I have a friend who recently started her own and she told NO ONE about it. I’m jealous. Someday I am going to ghost-write on hers, just so I can get some of this material out of me. So I totally get it.

    I know what you mean about your mom. No matter what everyone tells you, (and I agree with ALL of it-she loved you and was proud of you), you still have that nagging little thought in the back of your head. I have the same issue with 2 of my grandparents. But I get it:)

    Visiting from Mama Kat

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    Kat Reply:

    That’s where it all started. I just wanted SOMEWHERE to start. I would have felt like an orphan, otherwise. Sooo glad you came from Mama Kat’s… heading to your site right now!

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  9. Ally says:

    Kat – that little thing did not change your mom’s love for you. Believe that in your heart.

    BUT, I totally regret telling my mom about my blog!!! She read that I wanted a tattoo and totally tried to talk me out of it with false information. And now I didn’t blog about getting the tattoo, which I did, which was a hilarious experience, because I don’t want to hear it from her!
    Other than her, there are very few people that know. I’m glad for that. They DO provide me with TONS of blog fodder!

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Okay, so why don’t we each anonymously post on each others’ blogs and air it all out!?!? I’d LOVE to hear your tattoo story one day! You recall I’m considering one, right?

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    Ally Reply:

    Oh man, that would be awesome! Too good!

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  10. Sometimes I love that my family reads my blog, othertimes I think it would give me a bit more freedom. The Wanna Blog feature sounds like it will be pretty popular, I bet there’s others who wish they hadn’t told family and friends about their blog too.

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  11. Claudia says:

    Stopping by from SITS – Happy SITS Day :) This is what I love about SITS – discovering new, fantastic blogs. Can’t believe I haven’t come across you guys before. I love the he said/she said layout & your writing style is right up my alley. I can relate to wishing I hadn’t told people i actually know in real life that I am blogging because I find myself editing content “in case” so and so happens to stop by and read it, or not posting something for the same reason. So maybe I’ll be back for your “wanna blog?”… Great site!

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  12. read He said as well. Good post. You know you’re Mama’s proud. So sorry for your lost and there’s no need for regret. Thank you for sharing this.

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  13. by the way I’m definitely here from SITS. Have a great day!

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  14. Jessica says:

    Amazing idea! Amazing. I only wish I would have thought of a blog like this! Visiting from SISTS and I am in awe of this site! Just love it- my new fav! Hope you both are having a wonderful week! Come and visit if and when you get a chance! XOXO Jessica

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  15. Sarah Baron says:

    Hi,
    I’m here from SITS, but you’ve got to check out my blog. 3 months old, but similar stuff. You may want to look at this past Monday’s post on being Anonymous. I totally get what you are talking about. Anonymity can be helpful.

    Also, want to know if you and your other would do a guest post for us some time. Love love love the his/her thing.

    Sarah Baron

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  16. Mommylicious says:

    Hi!
    I came across your blog throuhg SITS. I, too, did not tell my friends and family for the longest time. Then I had to tell a few of my friends because they own home based business and I would like to feature them. Word gets around and now all my friends know about my blog. Whenever I feel like posting some personal stories, I guest blog on a blog community… :)

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Great idea! Any suggestions for blogs you guest post on? And, if so, do you promote ON YOUR OWN BLOG, that you’re Guest Posting over there? And/or do you say “I also blog over at….”, or do you not want the association at all? Just wondering!

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  17. Ashley says:

    Lol! True story, this is something I think about all of the time because you don’t want to upset anyone, right? But just think, anyone can be anonymous, it takes real guts to put yourself out there. So more power to the both of you! Keep on blogging!

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    I know, I know… it’s just SO hard to wonder “what if”? I’m such a blabber mouth, though…I wouldn’t be able to keep (my own!) secret!

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  18. Charlotte says:

    Hello! Stopping by from SITS and I just wanted to tell you how much I’m loving your blog :)

    I know what you mean, because I went through something similar when I launched my blog back in October. The desire to keep things a secret was overwhelming because I’ve always been a private person and what would people think!?!? But once I started, I just found the entire experience so liberating. It felt good to share my innermost thoughts.

    It’s hard to have this as your last impression of your mother, but I am SURE that she was so very proud of all of your accomplishments. Remember the good times you shared and continue doing what you do. I’m sure she would tell you the same :)

    Thanks for letting me into your world (moving on to the “he said” part now). :)

    [Reply]

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