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He Said: “Take a Picture, it Lasts Longer…” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

He Said: “Take a Picture, it Lasts Longer…”

May 9, 2010 by  

All things considered, I’m a pretty lucky guy. My wife, for the most part, “gets it.” She’s socially normal, pretends to like her in-laws, leaves me alone when I’m a grump, and is an amazing mom for the kids. But before she has her “aww, shucks” moment, there’s one point I’d like to make.

A former boss of mine had a staring problem, similar to Zac’s issue to the left. He would be in the middle of a conversation and if someone walked by and caught his attention, it was as if time stood still. He would literally stop mid-sentence, take in the moment and enjoy the scenery, then shake his head back into the present and continue on. It was the most focused obsession that I’ve ever seen, and it was equal parts awkward and hilarious.

My wife, unfortunately, is much less focused. She stares at anything and everything. It doesn’t matter what it is – someone’s new handbag, a puppy, the number 7, anything orange, or one rock in a pile that’s a different color than the rest. It seems as if any object alive or inanimate that’s not named Dave Fotheringham can easily catch her attention.

It’s amazing. I may as well have 5 kids when the entire family is out in public.

  • “Stop hitting your sister.”
  • “Stop picking your nose. And where are your shoes?”
  • “Of COURSE your tongue will freeze to that pole. Didn’t you see that movie?!”
  • “Get that toy out of your ear.”
  • “Kat, stop staring!”

It drives me absolutely crazy. Add to that her chronic case of “tone deafness” along with her outgoing personality and you have many, many moments of embarrassment for yours truly.

  • Kat to a stranger – “WOW…you are tall. Have you always been that way? Is your dad tall too? Do you have any kids? Have you ever been to Nepal? Did you know dogs and bees smell fear?”
  • Kat to me, in a whisper loud enough for all of target to hear, “Oh man, look over there. She REALLY shouldn’t be wearing that shirt.” Everyone else in line then turns and stares at the woman in question.

And WHY does she use the same decibal level both when a) she’s talking only to me (when she should be whispering) and b) when she’s 2 rooms away? By the way, if I don’t answer that means I didn’t hear you!

This blog is like therapy for me. Blast my wife on the world wide web, let others read my grief, then do it all over again a few days later. And when all is said and done, she still meets me at the door when I get home in the evening (with NO stare, fortunately, in that situation).

And another thing…

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14 Responses to “He Said: “Take a Picture, it Lasts Longer…””
  1. samijoe says:

    still in love with this blog.


  2. samijoe says:

    I’ve blogged about you, too good not to.



    Dave Reply:

    Very cool – thanks for the acknowledgement!


  3. Salt says:

    My husband could have written this, minus all the parts involving kids. 🙂


    Dave (He Said) Reply:

    I like him already!


  4. Tara says:

    Does she stare at me and I’m just oblivious? Hmmmm… I’m going to have to be on the lookout.. Loved your post.. btw:)


    Dave Reply:

    I plead the fifth…


  5. Melissa says:

    Dave, I SO needed this laugh today! You are so right, I love Kat to death but she is the definition of the “Irish Whisper” (when you think you are being quiet and unobvious but everyone within a 20 foot radius can hear you!) Although I am sure it’s uncomfortable at times (especially for you since it’s probably quite often), but I’m glad you see the humor in it, especially since she really doesn’t mean to make anyone feel bad. She is truly one of a kind, gotta love her!


    Dave Reply:

    Irish Whisper – you just made my day!


    Kat Reply:

    Scan – FIRST of all… YOU SOOOO are the one who says, when I tried even ATTEMPTING to ask a question while you WERE IN A STARE:

    “Don’t bother me right now… I’m in a stare… it’s almost over… just don’t talk… I’ll letcha know when I’m done”.

    And, thanks for the shout out (at least!) about the fact that I don’t mean to make anyone feel bad. Moreover, for the “gotta love her”. I needed that today! Hugs!


    Melissa Reply:

    Kat, you’re SO right! I do stare, and when I do, nothing can make me stop until I am done. But if you didn’t stare and comment really loudly about things, then you wouldn’t be loveable you:)


  6. Ashley says:

    Hahaha…the number 7. LOL!!!


  7. Diane says:

    i am SO like your wife. i say absolutely ANYTHING to anybody. not quite as bad on the staring thing but i do get it. i bet she makes your life so much more interesting. just think about it…how dull it would be without that tendency….


  8. Dawn says:

    Irish whisperer! LOL Love it!

    I’m pretty sure YOU might do something some time that ALSO makes your wife feel she has 5 kids as well. Any confessions??? 🙂


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