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She Said: “Take a Picture, It’ll Last Longer” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Sunday, August 20, 2017

She Said: “Take a Picture, It’ll Last Longer”

May 9, 2010 by Kat  

Okay, so admittedly, I have an extreme — okay, that’s an understatement — problem with staring.

Always have, always will.  The irony is that even after it hits me that I’m staring, I can’t stop.

Contrary to popular opinion — Err, Dave’s opinion — I do not stare to be rude. I find myself unable to tear the ‘ole cornea away from the scene of the crime because my mind goes somewhere else when I see something insanely profound. My eyes fixate on this “thing” — whether it’s a large mole on someone’s upper lip with a large, lengthy black chair coming out…. or a blind person miraculously being guided by a Guide Dog across a busy intersection — I can not help but look. While I’m looking, I’m praying for this person, asking God to step and and help. Curiosity gets the best of me and kills the c(K)at. And, I continue in my dazed stare until I’m done thinking about what I’m thinking about — which is always too long.

More often than not, I find myself obsessed and fixated on a situation where one is vulnerable, hurt, or compromised. Someone with one leg shorter than the other; a couple going at it in public (I’m referencing an argument, people); a child being herded by a leash… Someone whose hair is SOO stuck in 1987 you just can NOT get over it. I feel bad for these folks. My natural reaction is to stare.

I’m like Pavlov’s dog. It’s not my fault; when I see a situation that I just feel horrible about, I stare. It’s a conditioned response. become entranced. Fixated. Honed in. I can’t take my eyes off of the spectacle because I can’t take my eyes off until I’ve come to terms with it.

If it’s a sick child or one with physical disabilities, until I’m done with my little prayer for him/her,

I keep my eyes fixated. A growth on someone’s face where you think one-of-these-things-is-not-like-the-other?

I keep an eye on it because I’m grappling with what THEY must be going through, thinking about all of the torture and insecurities they must have. Meanwhile, as I hammer out this post trying to defend myself about my staring problem, I am WELL aware that I’m only making them feel more insecure. I wholeheartedly believe I’m NOT being obvious about my stare (and I REALLY DON’T MEAN TO!), but hubs has a different take on it. Am I admitting he’s right? Hell no. Just acknowledging him (for once).

I will try to end this disease of mine. It’s AWFUL, and I mean NO ill feelings — heck, I am FAR from perfect; I simply suck at being unobvious!

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Comments

15 Responses to “She Said: “Take a Picture, It’ll Last Longer””
  1. Salt says:

    Before I even get to the “he said” of this, I will tell you that I have the same problem and usually my husband has to be the one to snap me out of it. While we were on our honeymoon, a family walked past us on the beach. The parents were both “normal” and the kids were both seriously albino and I couldn’t stop staring at the older of the two because he had this big tattoo on his neck. My husband was all “OMG Lauren stop STARING at them!” because he thought I was staring at the fact they were albino, but in reality I was just trying to figure out if the tattoo was real.

    I never did figure it out, but that was the point where I learned how obvious it is that I’m looking at people. I hope those parents didn’t get mad at me.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    It “really” is a “snap out” sorta thing.. isn’t it? I would totally be staring RE: the albino part as WELL as the tattoo part. Shame on me!

    [Reply]

  2. Tara says:

    I would think I would be something for you to stare at..with all my quirks and just when I’m being me in general…lol:) I don’t think you really ever do…I guess that’s either because you’re over me… and have realized there’s just no help for me…prayers or not…or because you just have no problem telling me to my face when I look not so fabulous.. aka… bagel joint… or when I could do something different to look better. If it’s cause all the prayers in the world didn’t help.. try again…now I have a special angel up there that will help me out.. I know she will;) xoxo

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    I don’t need to stare at you… and, NEXT to you, I look like a total Girl Scout b/c you’re socially inept and stare WAY MORE THAN I do… have you NOT figured out that’s WHY I don’t mind being with you in public?

    [Reply]

  3. Jayme says:

    Yes! I stare too and for the same reasons. I catch myself doing it and then I feel like an ass. I also feel like a hypocrite because I am always yelling at my son for doing the same thing!

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    I am always telling my kids not to. BUT, they’re kids… and I am the ADULT! Ugh. Trying, trying…

    [Reply]

  4. Tracie says:

    I have this staring disease….and also the speaking only in one volume level (LOUD) that your husband describes on his side. At least I make life more interesting, right?

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    I literally CAN NOT HELP IT. What is my deal?

    [Reply]

  5. Ashley says:

    My husband does this all of the time. Yes, you should try to stare less. Good for you for admitting it! P.S. I grabbed your guys button. I have to figure out how to make one. P.P.S. I can’t believe you guys have only been blogging for FIVE months! You two are PROs!

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    (Blushing). Thank you!

    [Reply]

  6. Ashley says:

    I gave you guys an award today! Because you’re blog is awesome and you make me smile! Congrats!

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Thanks, Ash!! Love yours as well! I commented over at your blog.

    [Reply]

  7. Pink Blogger says:

    I totally have this problem too! Except I like to refer to it as “people watching.” Hubby doesn’t understand. I can be walking with my mom or bff and make a comment about someone we just passed and they will totally know what I’m talking about … hubby is completely clueless. I could sit and people watch all day – whether its someone’s style (amazing or horrendous), a domestic situation I find odd or disturbing, a couple obviously in love (older or young, but old really melts my heart), a child doing something cute or funny – I just can’t help it, I find people fascinating!

    [Reply]

  8. Dania says:

    Hi!

    I’m awarding you both with The Versatile Blogger award. Just visit my post on it to collect your award.

    http://www.thekiddiefashionista.com/2010/05/kiddie-fashionista-received-its-very.html

    [Reply]

  9. Dawn says:

    I SOOOO do this!! Except mine goes a bit further. I get drawn into their conversation. So not ONLY am I staring, but I’m eavesdropping too. I’m horrible, I know…But I can’t help that I’m curious.

    [Reply]

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