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Worst Parent of the Year with TodaysCliche.com Today's Cliche | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Parenting: Worst Parent of the Year

May 12, 2010 by Kat  

So, as you all know — this month has been the most horrific of my life. 4 weeks today marks the day my Mother became, literally, my Angel: white wings, white feathers… the whole nine. Then, last week, a friend of whom was one of my closest in middle/early high school was asked to join her in Heaven. Debbie, in all of our hearts and souls, was taken way too soon. However, God had a different plan for her. She is now serving as her husband’s, her sister’s, her brother’s, her best friends’, and her parent’s very same Angel. How blessed they are to have her protecting, and loving, them from up above.

Lots of emotions flying high these past few weeks. So high, that I made a HORRIBLE error in judgement yesterday… one which mortifies the snot out of me.

Due to the heavy heart that has grown by boulders since early April, the lack of sleep, the arduous and momentous walks down memory lane — both from my mom’s passing, and from the emotions at Debbie’s funeral in NY Monday — I literally needed to rest my heart and mind for a few seconds yesterday afternoon, when back at work hammering away on my keyboard.

However, I chose the WRONG moment to close my eyes and clear my head for a quick moment. Let’s just say that worst feeling in the world hit me like a bowling ball airborne down the alley when I opened my eyes and looked at my watch. It wasn’t a quick moment of rest as I had forecasted.

W          T            F  ?!?!?!

Without premeditation I. accidentally. took. a. nap. AND. slept. through. picking. my. freaking. 2 youngest. kids. up. at. school. Yes, you read it correctly. Can you top that?

Picture my call to the Director of the school. Can you IMAGINE the shame and humiliation when I HAD to fess up the truth?  There was not a white lie that possibly could have effectively explained why I was calling 20 minutes after the school closed… and I still had 22 minutes til I got there.

Oh, believe me, the LAST THING I wanted to do was admit this HUGE FAILURE to hubs.  He is overly understanding. But not this. Not this time.  I needed his help, as he could get there more quickly. Hubs works only about 8 mins. from their school; I was about 22 mins. Oh, he was PISSED.

I could go on and on with the GORY details, but it’s too torturous to continue to dig into. Clearly, my body, heart, and brain are on ridic overdrive and a quick I’ll close my eyes for a sec as my computer reboots turned into one of the most mortifying days of my life. WHO DOES THAT?

If you can “one up” me, please do. I need
something to make me feel better.


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Comments

28 Responses to “Parenting: Worst Parent of the Year”
  1. In my book, the fact that you are so upset over this shows just how much you care about your children. You expect yourself to be perfect, and you’re not…but that does not make you the worst parent of the year by any means.

    Your kids were in a safe place–at school. It’s not like they were standing on a street corner someplace. The school could have called you if there was an immediate problem; the fact that they didn’t means they were not all that worried.

    The fact that you’re going through a tough time means that not everything is going to go smoothly. And the fact that you fell asleep at work means that you need some help–a night or two of extra sleep, some time with your hubby, some time with a lot of coffee (lol). The best thing you can do for your kids is cut yourself a little slack and take care of you, not just them.

    I’m sure that your kids are fine, are going to grow up just fine, and, in the long-term, are not going to be scarred over this at all. So don’t beat yourself up anymore. You are **NOT** the worst parent of the year! Really!!!!

    From a spiritual perspective, think about maybe what God might be telling you at the moment–remember, He doesn’t give us more than he knows we can handle. Your angel may also be taking care of you by pointing out to you that you need some care.

    Sorry for my rambling…I’ve got the flu, so I’m not thinking too coherently at the moment.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    You are NOT rambling… but only making me feel better. Thank you, Michele! Gosh, hope YOU feel better… I thought the flu bug bit the dust on the East Coast. Feel bad for you!

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  2. Cheryl says:

    Kat…don’t beat yourself up over this. Really. Things like that happen to all of us. You have been through so much. You are only human. I actually did something similar, and slept threw picking my daughter up at the summer camp bus stop. They had to bring her all the way back to camp and call me and ask where I was. I was horrified. But you know what? We all lived. It is something we can now joke about years later. I am not perfect, and I am actually glad my kids can see that I am not perfect. Relax and think of all the awesome things you do instead of one small mistake! :)

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  3. Christy says:

    You know, sometimes as moms we just need to be a little easier on ourselves. There’s a reason why they tell you all that stuff about putting the oxygen mask on yourself first, and it’s really important in stressful/emotional/exhausting times like you’re going through. Forgive yourself for this incident, which feels awful, but is so small in the general scheme of things, and take some time to recharge your batteries. Your kids were safe, your husband and the school mildly inconvenienced. I mean, people forget their kids in the car for the ENTIRE DAY! Or leave them home with no adult. You’re a saint. Give your kids a hug and be kinder to yourself. If for no other reason than you want your kids to learn how to forgive themselves when they make a mistake.

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  4. Okay, I have to say, I was waiting for a revelation that was going to shock me and push me to my limits of “tell her it’s no big deal-ness” but while an inconvenience, it’s certainly not the end of the world. You’re going through such a tough time right now, and I’m positive that everyone is willing to give you some latitude.

    And I taught Sunday School (on Monday nights) for years – I can promise you, there are plenty of parents out there who are a half hour late picking up their child on a regular basis. Once? I wouldn’t have given that parent a second thought, assuming it was some one-time mistake or emergency.

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  5. Britt says:

    I say give yourself a break! You are a loving, attentive, supportive Mom who is having a hard time and took some time to take care of herself! I promise your kids will forget about it (or at least learn to laugh about it) and the hubs will get over it! I suggest you take a hot bath (maybe with a glass of wine) and relax! Sounds like you need it!

    [Reply]

  6. Jayme says:

    Oh Kat! You are going through so much right now that it is no wonder that you passed out. You are an amazing mom. Give yourself a break. I don’t know if this tops it, but I bought my kids the Black Eyed Peas cd and didn’t realize that it was the uncensored version. I let them listen to it but they know that they cannot repeat the bad words. And they listen to it all of the time!

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Laughing my ASS off right now. You SOOO made me feel better, girlfriend!

    [Reply]

    Jayme Reply:

    Yes, just call me mother of the year! I am glad that I could help!

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  7. CK says:

    If anyone deserves a mid-day snooze, it’s YOU! You are on my mind all the time. Give yourself a break. And if it makes you feel any better, my mom used to forget me at least once a month growing up. Yes, FORGET. Not fall-asleep-by-mistake-out-of-pure-physical-and-emotional-exhaustion and then innocently miss picking me up.

    She would FORGET ME. ALL THE TIME.

    And I still turned out okay! No joke–I can’t tell you how many times I had to make that call (once I was old enough to do it) from whatever practice I was at, only to hear her sing-song, “Helllooooo!” as only she can answer the phone. Clearly she had NO idea she was supposed to be somewhere else at that very moment–picking up her youngest child who already had a complex that she was less-loved than her hockey- playing brothers since we spent every waking moment at freaking hockey arenas all over the states of Minnesota, North Dakota, and Wisconsin to watch their games. (I am obviously over all that now…)

    Back to being left at practice (and school, and games, and friends’ houses…) It happens! And even though my mom would come flying into the parking lot as I stomped out to the car and then “punished” her all the way home by not speaking to her (they were probably her most pleasant car rides), I was always over it by the time I got home. And now that I’m a mom with three kids of my own, I look back and realize that she was just doing the best she could. Just like you… no biggie! :) Fa-getta-bout-it! (that’s the best New York accent this Minnesoooota girl can muster!)

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Oh. MY. GOSH. I sooo should have had you as MY GUEST blogger during my 2 week hiatus last month. From your finale of Fa-getta-bout-it to the fact that not only are you STILL not over it… sadly, I can relate ALL TOO WELL about being ‘left behind’.

    You were only the 3rd! I was the 6th! Mortifying, right? I think my (other, bigger…) issue is that I swore I’d “never” do that to “my child/ren”. Hey, that sounds like I should maybe include this post in my “Never Say Never” category.

    Shew, you REALLY do/did make me feel SOO much better, CK (PS – LOVE your alias). You’re = the BOMB!!

    Hugs, KF (just doesn’t have the same charm, damn it!)

    [Reply]

  8. alicia says:

    You win. And sorry. I think you shouldn’t beat yourself up though. Your body has been through the ringer and is trying to tell you something. Like, I need sleep. Hang in there. And I’m sorry for your loss.

    alicia

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  9. MissyPW says:

    Agreed on all the supportive words you’ve received! I had no idea what you were leading up — and then I CHUCKLED — it’s so minor! Please, I’ve been late picking my daughter up because I was getting a pediciure — try hiding that from teachers when you walk in with cheapy flip flops and toe seperators (oh, and gorgeous toes!). :)
    So sorry to hear about your friend, my friend.
    Love ya

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    OH MY GOD… talk about CHUCKLING (understatement!!!). I freakin cracked up at the visual of you ‘trying to hide that from the teachers when you walk in with cheapy flip flops and toe separators’. You’re the best, Miss. Hope you’re done burping up Chinese, and the sodium bloating has subsided ;-)

    [Reply]

  10. I’m sorry I didn’t get to leave a real comment and had to resort to Twitter. I was out and about and just couldn’t type out a response on my phone.

    As I said, it was an accident. You have been overwhelmed with so much sadness and shock and grief. It’s no wonder you’re that run down. Your body and soul are completely overwrought.

    I am so sorry for your losses. That is so much tragedy in such a short period of time, and I have no words to help make it better for you. All I can do is keep you in my thoughts.

    We all makes mistakes in parenting. It happens. Cut yourself some slack this once.

    Lots of hugs.

    [Reply]

  11. Becky says:

    Kat, you’ll make it through. They were alright. No damage done. You need some rest (hahaha). Seriously, your body is telling you something!!!

    As for the one upping to make you feel better…well, don’t forget that I DROVE RIGHT PAST MY KIDS waiting for me in the carpool line and made it almost a mile before realizing that I only had 2/4 in the car. You are only human!!!

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    You friggin’ CRACK me up. You’re right… Beck – I TOTALLY DID forget that time you did that! Thanks for the reminder… made my morning!! LMAO!

    [Reply]

  12. Please don’t beat yourself up. As a former preschool teacher, I can tell you with authority, it happens a lot more than you think. Heck, this year, my kids’ school lets out an hour early every Wednesday…I haven’t forgotten yet, but almost every Wed, someone’s on facebook posting that they forgot their kid(s) and most people have a lot less reason than you did today! My bad mommy award: when my kids were both under 2 and we’d just moved in to our new house, I locked myself out of the house while they were both inside by themselves. Their dad worked 45 minutes away and I didn’t really know any neighbors yet. Met one real fast when I had to have her pop the lock on the door with a credit card. We hid a spare key and installed deadbolts pronto! :)

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  13. Kim says:

    Ok, I’ve read everyone’s comments. I agree completely with each one, but there is one thing no one has said yet: SHUT UP!! Seriously, Kathy?? Are you kidding me?! You are an incredible mother who is too freakin’ hard on herself. You have always been one who needs every single “I” dotted, “T” crossed, all your ducks in a perfectly straight row, and every other little cliché that could possibly describe your perfection. (side note: even the little hearts you used to dot your “I”‘s with were perfectly symmetrical!) Kathy, give yourself some slack. Please. This truly is Aunt Patricia, your loving angel whom I miss grately (ugh. Her winks made me smile every freakin’ time!) … This was Aunt Patricia telling you to take time for you. Yes, you. She acted invincible too, but she took her moments (think of all that time logged on the phone with Aunt Cynthia!). Take those moments for you. They are medicinal, much needed, and beyond deserved.

    Ready for my horrific parenting moment? (am I really broadcasting this here??) Ok, here we go … When Ryan was an infant — maybe 6 mos old — I used the drive-thru ATM at the bank. Well, I tried. I sat in a long line waiting to use it because Ryan was asleep In his carrier in the backseat. The ATM broke while I was using it. Are you kidding me?! So I parked to use the walk-up ATM. It was being services. Seriously?! I was pissed by this point, but I needed cash for something. I had to wait in the long line inside the bank to get my money. I was beyond annoyed! I got back in my car and drove away. All of a sudden I heard a noise … It scared me. Through all of my ridiculous frustration, I realized I had forgotten Ryan was in the car!! I left him there sleeping while I went to the walk-up ATM and … AND … as I stood in the long line inside the bank!!!!!! I instantly started crying. I was a blubbering idiot in a matter of nanoseconds. Thank goodness it was a cool spring day here in Florida. Can you imagine if it was the middle of the summer??

    There you go, Kathy. I won the award for worst parent that year. Sorry, gotcha beat.

    I love you.

    (editor’s note: I wrote this on my phone and can’t pan up to reread it. Ugh. Please forgive any typos and lack of colorful inflections.)

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    OH MY GOSH. First of all… flippin KUDOS for not getting EVEN ONE error (without re-reading it myself!) in there, and your wrote this on your phone? You go girl.

    Thanks for all of those reminders about myself, and my Mom. You’re right, okay… I said it… you’re right. MEANWHILE, however:
    a. How do you remember my symmetrical hearts?
    b. You’re more ANAL than I! It’s the PR degree.

    Lastly, Oh… this is SUCH GOOD AMMUNITION! Love (wow, that’s sounds horrible!) that you left him in the car. I feel better already.

    Miss you to bits!! Love you, Kimi!

    [Reply]

  14. pixielation says:

    I can only echo what’s already been said – Michele is so right, they were in a very safe place, so forgetting to pick them up from school is probably the best place to have left them!

    And even if you did get enough sleep – grief is tiring. Grief makes you weary. A month isn’t a long time. You deserve deserve a big hug, not a beating of your own making!

    There are people who do foolish things and endanger their kids. They are selfish and don’t plan ahead. You are guilty of none of those things. And you shouldn’t be embarrassed or humiliated by it. Plus he might have been annoyed at you, but he really needs to get a dose of understanding in there too. If you’d rung him and said “I can’t pick up the children because I’ve been sick” it would have been pretty much the same thing.

    And I once didn’t pick my child up from school, because I didn’t fully read a text from a friend who said she’d pick my daughter up from school to play with her daughter after school. I missed the bit that said this plan was for the NEXT day. The school rang me at 4pm to ask who was going to pick up my daughter.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Thank you soo much for your warm response. I do feel better already! Thank you!

    [Reply]

  15. Amber says:

    I am SO sure that I will do this one day – when my kids are old enough! And I think the school understands that you have been through WAY more than anybody should in 1 month’s span. The WORST would be if you didn’t even care – that happens a lot (my Mom is a teacher and has had to call social services on several occasions because parents continuously leave there children at school sometimes hours after pick-up!)

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  16. Melissa says:

    I think this tops it Kat! I was actually going to write a story about my son (see end of message), but then last night, while talking on the phone, and boiling water for my 3 year old’s dinner, I was holding my 5 week old daughter in my arms. Since I apparently have lost the ability to multi-task, the water started to boil over, so I took a measuring cup to dump some of the extra water out into the sink. Well, it splashed up onto my 5 week old’s head!! Yup, she screamed and I dropped the phone and started crying, while my friend is yelling are you ok into the phone lying on the floor, and my son is asking me what I did to the baby! Luckily, it was just a few splatters, and she calmed down, but sometimes we just can’t do it all and shouldn’t expect ourselves to.

    Kat, you truly are one of the best moms I know and I have learned SO much from you. If my kids have half the manners, respect, sweetness and love for each other as you have instilled in your kiddos, I will feel very, very lucky! This is one of the worst months of your life and you are more than weathering the storm, you are doing so great. Give yourself a break…oh, and remind me to tell you about the time I threatened to drop Jack off at the local gas station and pick out a stranger to live with bc I had had it with him! Then we’ll talk about being a bad mom:)

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    I NEED MORE!!! MORE stories! You must have learned that threat — to drop your child off at a scary place from Yours Truly! I soo use that ammo 7 days a week.

    What is even more sick was that I was giggling at Charlie’s expense! I can not BELIEVE you splashed hot water on her! Okay, YOU DEFINITELY TOP the cake!

    Seriously, YOU NEED TO BE A GUEST BLOGGER on here. You crack me up beyond measure.

    I love you!

    [Reply]

  17. Grace says:

    Girl, I’ve forgotten to pick kids up. I accidentally locked my toddler and infant in the car. I ran over the dog. I forgot to pick my friend’s kids up from school.

    My kids are older now. Looks like they’re going to survive to adulthood and manage to be moderately well-adjusted.

    It wasn’t always pretty, but I think I did a decent job.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Wowsers… this is the best news yet. I don’t doubt they’ll be okay, but I feel like I’ve totally lost it, Grace!!

    [Reply]

  18. Tara says:

    How did i miss this blog??? you needed the sleep. PERIOD.. END OF STORY!! you have had the most hellish month EVER and were so overtired you accidently fell asleep. Everyone at school knows your situation and adores you and your kiddos… they’ve had the pleasure of getting to know all four:) and i guarantee no one was mad or upset. Put yourself in there shoes for a minute. If one of them went thru all you went thru in the past month….don’t you think you’d cut them some slack and bend over backwards to help them out if you could. That’s how they felt. I’m sure of it. Being familiar with the school, nursery/daycare scene, I know exactly how this played out. That teacher that needed to leave, left. No one else had anywhere special to be and they all feel for you. They prob. fought over who would stay and look extra-specially amazing to you and or Dave when you arrived. Maybe even thinkin’ they’d get a few more bucks at the end of the year… or perhaps a gift just a little better than all the rest!! lol… doubt they even cared. If they have and ounce of goodness in them they said to themselves, poor girl, hope everything’s okay. You speak so highly of them, I know this was their reaction. You’re all good. Nothing to be ashamed of. You’re plate was overflowing and a mid-day nap was calling your name. Dave needed to get mad initially, but quickly got over it. End of story, OVER!! LOVE YOU:)

    [Reply]

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