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She Said: “You Can’t Pick Your Family, But You Can Pick Your Friends” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

She Said: “You Can’t Pick Your Family, But You Can Pick Your Friends”

May 13, 2010 by  

First of all… when HE said HE was going to Author a cookbook, I thought he was going to brag about what an amazing cook I AM, not all of my hot friends (!). However, I’ll let it slide — just this once.

Second of all… what the hell are you doing in this post, dude? Trying to get me in trouble with my in laws? Your dad will no longer hook a sistah up if ANYONE in your family took your “pretends to like her in laws” comment seriously.

The cliche interwoven into the title of this particular post, however, is appropriate for some — people who can’t STAND either the family into which they’re born, or married. I thank my freakin’ lucky stars every day that I wouldn’t change a thing about either my parents/siblings (welp, except for my brothers… SUCKAHS!   :lol:), or my in-laws.

I couldn’t have handpicked a better family if I tried.  Similarly, it’s almost EMBARRASSING to admit
the friends we have — all of whom were hand chosen.  Both friends from our past, and those in our present.

Only in the South, when you have a baby (whether it’s your 1st, or 4th), do you get hand-delivered, home-made meals served TO YOUR DOOR, piping hot… for SIX weeks after the damn baby is born!  Our friends utilize any excuse to help out. It’s like an adrenalin rush for them. A feline is sick? Dinner at your door. A sick dog? Homemade dessert awaiting your arrival. A stubbed toe nail? A schedule of who will pick up and drop off your kids at school.

All kidding aside, how many people can testify to selfless friends who leave their own (fairly large, and very young) families home just to help your hubby with your 4 kids on a flight, in your absence? My amazing friends. Then there are those friends who you may not have seen in years, who paid an arm and a leg to fly cross-continental to be at your side when you’re at your weakest — all knowing that they may only get to spend just 4 minutes with you? My friends.

What about those friends who not only fly down to assist with hubs on the flight but stay 4-5 days to offer any help they can… even taking your children at night in their hotel room so you can cry and laugh with your family during one of the most horrific experiences of your life? You’re looking at ’em.

Let’s not forget those friends who literally live across the country, and even in Europe, who arrange via a catering service to have meals delivered weeks after my loss? My friends. Neighbors who reach out and insist on helping with food or service even when you refuse their help? My neighbors.  My friends. Damn, I almost feel unworthy.

In all seriousness, losing anyone is tough; especially a parent. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. The last month is a complete blur. I am not confident my family would have eaten had it not been for the doorbell ringing just in time each evening with a homemade meal. From the outside, it may appear that even through this, I totally have my shit together… but when you lose, physically, 1/2 of who you “are”, you can not think straight. You can not prepare meals. You can not bear to get out of bed in the morning. You can not bear to make your house look anything short of a Frat house. You can not sleep. You can not deal with your kids from about 4 pm until 8 pm — as horrible as that sounds. You need your friends.

Thank you, friends — even if my fridge looks how like this. And, as a result of all of the bloating from the lettuce consumption, my top pant button will be undone for 5 weeks.

Beggers can’t be choosers, can they?

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5 Responses to “She Said: “You Can’t Pick Your Family, But You Can Pick Your Friends””
  1. Britt says:

    I too can attest to Southern Hospitality and friendship at it’s finest! Our daughter was stillborn a little over 2 months ago and the outpouring of love we received from friends, family, church members (who count as friends and family in my book!) was phenomenal! Maybe it’s a southern thing?!?!


  2. Man, I wish I lived in the South – nobody where I live (though they’re lovely people and would do anything for you) would think to bring over meals. And I’m somewhat concerned you have a bunny in your fridge – that can’t be good news, for the bunny or your food. (Especially if you’re loaded up with lettuce!)


  3. Gen X Mom says:

    You seem to have amazing friends! What a lucky girl you are! You usually hear sayings like ‘your family will always be there, friends not’, but this is so not the case for you! How wonderful!


    Kat Reply:

    Gosh, that was nice! I know, I am sooo lucky.


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