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He Said: Wanna “Slap me with a Wet Noodle”? | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

He Said: Wanna “Slap me with a Wet Noodle”?

June 18, 2010 by  

Over the past few weeks, there were times that I have wanted to whack the wife with a wet noodle, but after reading her initial post today I’m about to bludgeon her with something worse!  I’m picturing something similar to Captain Caveman’s equipment to the left.

One of the points that Dave Ramsey makes is that each member of a relationship is either a nerd or a free-spirit.  Some relationships have 1 of each, while others may have both of one or the other types of personality.  In our home, I am definitely the nerd (that’s what a math degree will get you, I guess).  Kat, unquestionably, is the free-spirit.  In every single defintion of the term.

Free-spirits are usually care-free, and often don’t think.  One example of this is when your wife submits a post to the entire world, essentially disclosing our financial situation!!  “Oprah Junior” actually had a little more detail in her original post that I made her take out.  For the first time in years, she actually listened to me!

But back to the rest of her post.  My relief of her finishing the Oprah video is eerily similar to when you get the “blue screen of death” on your laptop, then realize that all is good after a re-boot.  She literally let EVERYTHING go while she was working on this script.  She spent, in my estimation, 93 1/2 hours on developing a 180 second video clip.  This is clearly a sign of her determination and never-ending search for perfection.  As a result, her efforts allowed me to spend quality time with the kids for 9 straight days, cleaning up what I at first couldn’t recognize as our home.  I was afraid to walk upstairs after work each day, not knowing what was in store for me.

For those of you who she has ignored, please don’t feel bad – it could be worse.  During last night’s filming with the videographer, she actually kicked the 5 of us out of the house, and wouldn’t let us back in until 10 at night!  We left assuming that we’d return at 7:45, so I brought nothing with me.  No diapers, no snacks, no juice, no sleeping bags – nothing.  We got back to the house, out of options, at 9:15 and she made us stay outside in the yard until they were done.

  • 7-year old – “Daddy, I’m itchy.  Which one is Mars?”
  • 5-year-old – “Dad, why won’t mom let us in the house?  And who’s that man in there?”  (Note to the men out there – could you imagine those questions  asked of you in ANY other scenario?!?)
  • 4-year-old – “Dad, can we go to Mars when I’m five?”
  • 2-year-old – Well, he didn’t have to say anything.  The stench from his diaper (and the corresponding rash) said it all.

I can’t WAIT to see the end result.  She put a ton of time into this project – just as she does with EVERYTHING she throws herself into.  I’m sure it will be fantastic, and if she’s not selected, I want to see the auditions that do make the cut.

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One Response to “He Said: Wanna “Slap me with a Wet Noodle”?”
  1. Kat says:



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