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She Said: “Wedding Crasher(s)” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

She Said: “Wedding Crasher(s)”

June 22, 2010 by  

I’d click the above 1st, so you know what the heck I’m talking ’bout…

Okay, so what’s the big deal about what happened Saturday night?

Not me... I did not actually agree to go Crash a Wedding with a totally random 64 year old woman, while wiping my pee, on Saturday night in the woman’s rest room.

Not me… I did not actually pose for pictures — with the Groom — on the dance floor, while crashing said wedding. Oh, and my hubby was a few doors down wondering where the hell I was.

Not me…. I did not promise the lady who asked me to hop on board with her that I would not tell my hubby (she desperately did not want her hubs to know. Whatev. I don’t see the big deal).

Not me... I did not wonder what the random, still unknown, 64 year old woman’s arm workout routine was — man, she had killer arms. I wonder if she’s on Facebook so I can look her up. Wait, err… I don’t even know her 1st name, much less her last. Genius.

Not me… I was not embarrassed by the fact that my random, still unknown, 64 year old “Date” at the wedding we crashed on Saturday night was wearing KHAKI PANTS and a tank top(!).  At least I was wearing an unnecessarily revealing loud and obnoxious yellow and black, low-cut, polka dot dress to the wedding (I was simply trying to romance the hubs that night… didn’t expect the detour in the evening).

Not me… I did not walk BACK into the restaurant with a sh*it-eating grin, after a 25 minute rest room “Excuse me, honey… I’ll be right back… I just have to run to the bathroom before our dinner.”

[RE: the 1st “Not me” — I mean I agreed while wiping my pee…no that I crashed the wedding while wiping my pee].

Also, HE forgot to mention in HE SAID that while he was awaiting my very timely arrival BACK to the table, he noticed gentleman sitting all by his lonesome from across the restaurant — casually looking at his watch — with a confused disposition about himself. When I let the Kat out of the bag as to my Shenanigans he was all proud of himself for putting the haphazard clues together. That would be my 64 year old date’s husband.

Don’t know if I’ll ever see her again, don’t really care. A mom of 4 kids and I still have it in me to do completely INappropriate things.

I wish I could be at the photographer’s studio in 3 weeks when the newlyweds return from their honeymoon… and they’re going over the Proofs… arguing over who the hell the chick in the yellow and black crazy dress is…

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7 Responses to “She Said: “Wedding Crasher(s)””
  1. MandyP says:

    You never cease to amaze me! You’re hilarious! See? You’re PERFECT for your own show!!!


  2. MommyMac1122 says:

    A.W.E.S.O.M.E. Seriously. Awesome.


  3. Gen X Mom says:

    OMG, too funny! You definitely like to keep things interesting!


  4. Kara says:

    That is just way to funny!!! Sounds like a fun time!!!


  5. Jeni says:

    Hilarious!!! Thanks for a great laugh today; )


  6. shy says:

    Omg! Rotflmao! Live life to the fullest girl! Lol


  7. Salt says:

    It’s official. You are my new hero.


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