She Said: Part 1 ~ “Luck is What Happens When Preparation Meets Opportunity.” – Seneca
Not sure if I’m still a believer of the above anymore. Hemph.
So — here goes:
- Start to pack, until I:
- REALIZE at 8:30 pm that the 16 page application I typed in (and wrote over the course of about 10 hours, 15 days prior) was DELETED FROM THE SERVER of the “PDF Writer” program I was using. No joke. Talk about “trying to be prepared”. HA.
- Freak out.
- Wake up at 3 am to start application all over.
- Have no clue what I’m wearing to Auditions.
- Throw crap in a suitcase.
- Head to airport at 11 am.
- Chug 1/3 bottle of champagne in car to airport (I wasn’t driving).
- Land Atlanta: pick up last minute things at Atlanta Mall.
- Swing by parking lot where auditions for next day were going to be.
- Call over random guy to my car to ask him what the deal for next day would be.
- Put on major charm.
- Find out he’s Oprah’s personal bodyguard, “Ryan”. He’s also head of Security for all 4 Casting Calls. Seriously.
- Got ridiculously giddy at above fact.
- Got many inside details about what to expect next day. Felt so “in the know”.
- “Ryan” tells me not what to worry about getting in line early tomorrow, as “There is no deadline… that they would CONTINUE TO GIVE OUT BRACELETS (which gives you your # in line) for as long as people come.”
– “Ryan” continued, “Oprah has instructed us not to turn anyone away… what if the 2,301st person is ‘THE ONE’???? M’am, we will be handing out bracelets tomorrow AS LONG as as LATE as people come. We’ll give bracelets/numbers away until people stop coming”
- Think, “SWEET”.
- Get to hotel at 8:30 pm at night.
– Attempt to finish 16 page ESSAY application before passing out.
- Wake up at 3 am to finish 16 page ESSAY application that I ALREADY composed 2 1/2 weeks ago, but lost due to STUPID “PDF Writer” program.
- Cut off all of the fat from my 30 second “pitch”.
- Take serious 10 minute POWER nap to dust off the cobwebs and clutter of over-preparing.
- Place online “order” to have all my crap printed out at Kinkos. CALL KINKOs. CONFIRM he has it ALL printed out and IN HIS HANDS.
- Shower, get all dolled up.
- Perfectly have everything timed to a tee to arrive at most opportune time AT auditions, per the “inside scoop” from Ryan, Oprah’s Bodyguard.
- Head to Kinkos to print out 16 page application, image of me jumping out of a bag, and bulleted list of what I’m going to say (to review while in line).
- Find out Kinkos printed out NOT MY application, but handed me a completely blank one. Where was mine??? Whose was this?
- Lean over counter and strangle man who doesn’t speak English (oh, wait, that was what I refrained from doing).
- Realize I only have 20 minutes to get to Casting Call, but know this nightmare will take MORE THAN 20 minutes.
- Arrive at Casting Call and am told I have to leave — I “missed deadline of 12 pm” by a bodyguard.
- I start bawling crying.
- I beg.
- I plead.
- I drop to my knees.
- I can’t control the crying.
- I swear that I’m not intentionally just ‘turning on the tears’.
- Bodyguard refuses.
– I try to ‘drop’ the 1st bodyguard’s name (Ryan), who I met the night before.
- Give this guy my life story.
– I beg him that this can’t be happening. I NEED TO DO THIS.
- Does he NOT REALIZE that I had to fly in my cousin to care for my FOUR CHILDREN for FOUR DAYS just to be here? After I bite my tongue from telling him he owes me $1K for my weekend of expenses, I tried to convince him that he just doesn’t understand all I’ve been through — how Kinko’s screwed up, blah, blah, blah.
- I beg him to let me ask someone else there IF they can give me special exception.
- I get turned down.
– I tell him that “Ryan” told me “There was no deadline… that they would CONTINUE TO GIVE OUT BRACELETS for as long as people come.” – I continued that “Ryan” said, “Oprah has instructed us not to turn anyone away… what if the 2,301st person is ‘THE ONE’???? M’am, we will be handing out bracelets tomorrow AS LONG as as LATE as people come. We’ll give bracelets/numbers away until people stop coming”.
- He REFUSES to let me convince him of anything. He makes me feel (which I was) that I AM JUST A NUMBER. Does HE NOT KNOW what I went through to get here??
………..TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW. IT GETS JUICY.
IN THE MEANTIME, CLICK HERE to see me heading out to the Casting Call thingy — do you think I actually was able to make it? FIND OUT TOMORROW in Part 2
Here’s another way to see the quick 15 second clip: http://sharing.theflip.com/session/5290af99ec9d3c9e1a948fa2c717bec8/video/15648733