Seriously? “Welcome to our ‘ool’. Notice there is no ‘P’ in it? Please keep it that way!”
I’m at a pinnacle opportunity with Today’s Cliche. Testing the proverbial waters of really stripping away the onion into my unfeigned emotions, palpable insecurities, and raw idiosyncrasies. But, I still fear being judged and showing “the real me”. Why? A huge portion of this hesitance is because I was raised in a family where we didn’t really talk about problems. You just (a) pretended they didn’t happen or exist, or (b) you just brushed them under the carpet. Period.
The majority of the friends I chose to be part of MY quilt of life were quite the opposite. Actually, I’d say it’s a 50/50 ratio. I so admire — and want(ed) to be more like the 50% who actually talked about the taboo subjects. The result? Following the law of probability, I probably talk about the hush-hush items in my life (only) about 25% of the time.
However, on Today’s Cliche, I want to up-the-antie… and shoot for more of a 90% rate. Why? To start, to encourage you all more to face your own realities and reach out for the incredible advice and support that I’ve been blessed to receive by my followers. If you’re not a blogger, my hopes for you through MY upcoming journey is that you realize being “real” and not trying to keep up your walls is not as scary as it may seem.
If you are a blogger, and — like me — everyone you know KNOWS you blog… join me and say THE HELL WITH IT. Who CARES if people know “the real me”. S#it, I really don’t have it all together… so why do I still want to seem like I do?
My problem remains: Fear. Fear that I’ll offend others in the meantime. Why, you ask? Especially if I’ll be writing about myself? Because dissecting my real self includes using “examples” of how I’ve come to my conclusions. I’ll wind up using my relationships to others AS THE BACKDROP to illustrate how I came to the inferences that ALLOW me to be so raw.
What surfaced this post is another I came across on Monkey with Glasses. Her post focused on our lives being a swimming pool. She begged the question RE: who gets access to the deep end and who has to stay on the deck? She further spoke about how we can’t always choose the people in our life, but how much they influence us is totally our decision.
This metaphor was deep for me. I think of this analogy less RE: how problematic people in your life can be (she uses the example of how many of these people respect your pool, while others don’t. They insist on splashing around and making waves which causes you varying degrees of distress).
In the metaphor of your life being a swimming pool, I’d like to apply this parallel more so on WHO gets access to my deep end. Right now, many I choose to keep in the shallow end – while some I choose to have stay on deck.
At the beginning of this post — when I talk about showing the “real me”, I refer to people “in real life”. My life PRE-BLOGGING. However, if I keep my BLOGGING audience in the shallow end — or even on the deck — for much longer… the goal of my blog will fail. In my PRE-BLOGGING life, occasionally acquaintances transformed into closer friendships, earned my respect and were allowed to go a little deeper. I can name a few who just never seem to have passed the swim test.
I can’t keep all of you fabulousness readers on the “other side” of the rope. It’s self-defeating. However, I have to admit I am TERRIFIED. What will you all think when I let you all in? Will I piss people off? Will I uncover skeletons that will be taken the wrong way? What do you all think?
I am soo torn! I need your feedback!