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She Said: “Here for the Wrong Reasons” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Monday, July 24, 2017

She Said: “Here for the Wrong Reasons”

August 1, 2010 by Kat  


Trash.


Trainwrecks.


Twisted addictions.


The fir
st 2 items are what I obsess over seeing.

The last item is what I HAVE.

TO.

THESE.


DRUMROLL please….



HAVE YOU seen the promo for this?

Let me first state that for 5 years, hubs cackled from across the kitchen to the family as I chugged sipped wine and watched the bottom of the barrel garbage on the Bach. He’d complain, “That is ridiculous. I can’t believe you watch this trash.”

Fast forward an email invite to be part of a “pool” (with $$ involved, of course) to gamble your wages on who you think will suck the hardest as a contestant (literally and figuratively) and consequently go home from (the) sucking, or get a $74K rock on their finger.

And, to top that — there were actually GUYS in this email pool. Well, if THEY were comfortable enough in their masculinity to be part of this pool/wager… he considered watching it avec moi. And so began the journey that has bonded our marriage more than any other event: Monday nights, watching the BATCH/ELORETTE on ABC.

Even if you haven’t sizzled brain cells like a raw egg on a newly paved black runway by watching previous seasons of the Batch, BACHELOR PAD is a MUST see.


# 10. The incredible depression that will set in that your cellulite on your ass is so disgusting, you don’t want to be naked in front of your significant other until you burn through a one year gym pass and still see no results.

# 9. You’ll find yourself high-fiving with the check out clerk at your grocery store, as you are flipping through People and OK! Mags (how gay is that magazine’s title… with the “!” at the end?), agreeing about certain psychos in The Pad.

# 8. If you watch with your hubby, prepare. He will be ALL over you after the show is over. The horn factor is ridic.

# 7. Consequently, there will be incredible pressure. Pressure to time it right that you fall asleep jjjjuuuuuuussssstttttt a few minutes before the show is over (but you must first practice to strategically keep one of your unseen eyes cracked to watch the end without him knowing).

# 6. You will rant aloud at least 39 times during a 60 minute period ”OMG, my parents would SOOOOOOO DISOWN ME IF I EVER WENT ON HERE. SOO DISOWN ME!!

# 5. You will find yourself making out with your pillow just to make sure you still have-what-it-takes.

# 4. You will run to bathroom and gag into toilet each time Chris Harrison says “The most dramatic (___________ fill in the freaking blank) yet” and “How has this journey…?” “What about this journey…?”  ”Would you agree this journey…?” AHH!!!

# 3.


# 2. Admit it, it makes you miss college years just a smidge. The careless drinking; the Spring Breaks; the random hook ups (I have no idea what that even means… ).  And the fact that they get to drink all of that and NOT HAVE to pay for it themselves? Sons of bitches.



Are you gonna watch? Do you think it’ll be the most dramatic show you’ve ever seen yet?

I don’t think I’ve been this excited since I was 5 and got the Barbie Dream Van from Santa. Seriously.

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Comments

7 Responses to “She Said: “Here for the Wrong Reasons””
  1. I am actually thinking about watching this. More so for the trainwreck that it will become!

    [Reply]

  2. Marin says:

    LOVE IT!!! You KNOW I am super excited for it… counting down the days! :)

    [Reply]

  3. Mesina says:

    Damnit! I’m in the UK and this shit isn’t on TV here. Should I move….?
    Kat – you are freakin’ hilarious. Freakin’!

    [Reply]

  4. SuzRocks says:

    I can not freaking wait! I’ve got class on tuesdays, so every week all of us girls come in dissecting the show apart. With the guys rolling their eyes telling us we are in GRADUATE school and shouldn’t be wasting our time with this drivel.

    I wish I could get my husband to watch this with me. I’ve got to hide away and watch it.

    [Reply]

  5. Erin says:

    For the record, I haven’t watched all season (have kept up a little via trashy magazines!) but am watching tonight, mostly to see what you and Dave have to say about it.

    [Reply]

  6. Tara says:

    love it! LOVE IT! love it!! can’t wait to watch it and discuss. loved your top ten list.. hysterical… love everything i read on this site!!! you crack me up!!!!

    [Reply]

  7. Johan Sebastian says:

    Please do not refer to your trashy show as “The Bach”

    [Reply]

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