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She Said: “Serves You Right” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Sunday, June 25, 2017

She Said: “Serves You Right”

October 2, 2010 by Kat  

It’s so easy to judge another, isn’t it? So easy to say, “Oh, well she takes too much on…“, or “That’s what you GET when you have all those kids; serves her right.

Before I was a mom to a camp of kids, I did judge – not as cynically as throwing punches like serves her right, but you know… the “I never” game. Although you may think I’m referring to the drinking game of “I Never”, I’m not. I mean the: “Oh, I WILL NEVER do x, y, z when I have kids” (when saying the last quote, make sure you draw out your “IIIIIIIII WIIIILLLLLL NNNEEEEEEEEEEEVVER”, and insert the most obnoxious-pretend-to-be-speaking-with-some-royal-heinass-dialect-yes-i-spelled-heinass-with-an-ass-on-purpose-not-a-misspelling).

Well, screw I never. This week I was thrown to the wolves on my return from one of the best experiences of my life. Serves me right, right? You are probably right. But, when you’re in the thick of it – that’s the last thing you wanna hear.

Things this week that I wanted to actually did scream until my lungs bled at some point are below. Some of my attacks were unmeaningly at my kids, some were to the empty air (but it felt good).  I felt like an immature, teenaged girl… with Touret’s:

  • Can you not see I’m updating my Facebook profile at the moment? Go flippin’ wipe your crack yourself. I don’t care about skid marks today, honey. This is important! It’s for work.
  • Well, I’d consider letting you have a sip of my wine, cutie pie…  but it’s the last bottle.  Today is Sept. 29th, and I need this particular bottle to last Daddy and me through tomorrow night, the 30th. Our budget for wine resets on the 1st of every month. Try me again in two days. See you then.
  • DELETING EFFIN JUNK MAIL IN YOUR INBOX IS A MOTHER BLEEP BLEEP BLEEPing FULL TIME JOB. I WANT TO BE $LOADED$ so that I can hire someone just.to.do.that.for.me. Although it does feel like popping a huge zit once you bang out a whole stream of them at once (or play “Delete Roulette” — kinda like Pull and Pray. You know, when you just delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete-delete all in a row, b a r e l y looking at the screen, but just hoping you didn’t miss anything from your kids’ teachers, or a Baby Gap coupon, or a free trial of women’s Viagra.
  • (This was actually not a scream, but a whisper while embracing one little man) “Mommy’s so sorry she spanked you… BUT YOU WOULDN’T STOP SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS FOR NO REASON AND I COULD NOT CALM YOU DOWN ANY OTHER WAY YOU WERE OUTTA CONTROL AND I ALMOST BLEW MY HEAD OFF… so there, there, sweetie pie. Everything is going to be just fine.”

I’d like to take credit for this mom being me… but we’re neither Jewish or Mormon… Oh, and my house looks a smidge different…
I love my kids more than anything in this world, I really do. My Mac is a close second… so apologies to the little guy for almost hurting it when going thru junk emails. Wait. Crud. Forgot about the hubs… he is tied right up there for 2nd 1st <batting eyelashes>.

Pah-LEASE tell me you’ve done AT LEAST the first bullet (above). If you say you never have. You = L I A R.  And, if there is a handful of you out there who have done the last (bullet), please make me feel better. Hey, at least I’m being honest.


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Comments

17 Responses to “She Said: “Serves You Right””
  1. MandyP says:

    I have done all of the above. I lose it sometimes. I think we all do at least ONCE in our lives. We’re human and giving of ourselves and every s[are moment we have in our lives to our kiddos (love them as much as we do) can be taxing and frustrating. I would not change a THING in my life with so many kids…except to remember to make “me time” a priority regularly so I have these kinds of days less. xoxo

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    At least ONCE a day, I think you meant (?). Taxing. Frustrating. You nailed it! And, thankfully you wouldn’t change a thing about all your kids, considering you’re about to have your 5th!! Still can’t believe it! xoxoxo

    [Reply]

  2. Missy says:

    Been there done that more then once or twice.

    [Reply]

  3. *raises both hands* guilty as charged on all four.

    Hey Kat! Not sure if you remember me or not….we meet at BloggyBoatCamp in Philly. We sat at the same lunch table….and I gave you a silly post-it note with my family blog on it! ;)

    I am finally getting around to checking out all the blogs. Can I just say…I LOVE YOUR BLOG! Congrats on winning the America’s Hottest Culinary Couple…that’s awesome!

    I have a hard time juggling everything with two littles ones and I can’t imagine what it would be like with four. Sending tons of hugs from PA!

    [Reply]

    Bobbi-Jo {The High Family} Reply:

    BloggyBOOTCamp! oh my word! hope that gave you a good laugh! ;)

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    OMG – OF course I remember you, crazy lady! I loved sifting through your blog site, as well! Love that it’s all about your family!

    It’s insane with 4. Getting harder, too, in some ways vs. easier — which is ANNOYING!

    I’m so delighted you stopped by… I hope you continue to!

    Cheers, Kat

    [Reply]

  4. Tracie says:

    I have definitely done the first one…okay, I’ve done pretty much all of them. You are not alone.

    That video is hilarious, especially the little pop ups.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    I know, the video totally made me laugh. I was scared people were going to think that was ME yelling at my kids (more scared that they’d think it was the INTERIOR of my house!).

    So glad I’m not alone w/my “issues”.

    [Reply]

  5. Grammar says:

    “Things this week that I wanted to actually did scream until my lungs bled at some point are below.”

    I’ve read this sentence 10 times and I still have no idea what it says.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    The “actually did” was supposed to have a strike out across it… the HTML obviously didn’t pick it up. Re-doing it now…

    Thanks for the heads up. I HATE bad grammar; overlooked HTML error.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    Actually, I just looked, and the strike out IS working fine and has been (at least on my screen) since the post was published. Not sure where the disconnect is?

    [Reply]

    Boy Reply:

    Ok. Pretend the strikeout isn’t there.

    What does this mean?

    “Things this week that I wanted to scream until my lungs bled at some point are below.”

    Or, let’s try it with the strikeout part in there. . .

    “Things this week that I actually did scream until my lungs bled at some point are below.”

    Neither makes sense.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    OKAY… freaking grammatical police. In almost a year of blogging and not screwing up, the only nice thing you have to say is to point out a simple error? PS – Totally know who you are, and each and every comment you’ve posted. SeriouslY?

  6. Jen says:

    You are totally not alone in this boat.

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    I knew I could count on you to FEEL FOR ME! How can we not w/the # of kids we have?

    [Reply]

  7. mjrodriguez says:

    hiya tribemate! the post is well put. and i can totally relate.

    i like this whole concept of “he said, she said”. very insightful on both sides.

    now if only i could get my hubby to do the same. but he is so quiet sometimes that i think he’s lost his voice. or maybe he just lets me do the talking because it is easier for him that way. hmmm…

    [Reply]

    Kat Reply:

    I know, crazy, right? I still can’t believe we blog together… pretty cool… esp. cause he SORTA (believe me, not nearly enough) how important it is to me!

    [Reply]

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