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Today's Cliche Spouses Disagree RE: "Who's is Who's" | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Monday, October 22, 2018

He Said: “What’s Mine is Yours, and What’s Yours is — Err, Yours…”

October 27, 2010 by  

There aren’t many things in our house that I can call “mine.”  Mine – not hers, not theirs, not ours…just mine.  At this point, I could narrow it down to – without much argument from Kat – any yard equipment, my old bowling ball, any Steeler/Penn State gear, and my underwear.  Many people would assume that toiletries would fall into this category; if they lived in our house, they would be gravely mistaken.

Believe me when I tell you – and you’ll be shocked to read this – but I’m no Gilles Marini.  I’m normally compared to a different “celebrity” –  Mr. Clean over there.  If you still need some convincing, look at these pictures or better yet ask any woman with vision better than 20/400.  My point is that I need to take advantage of every situation to (try to) look and feel halfway decent.  (This post DOES have a subject.  I promise.)

Any guy will tell you that there is NOTHING better than the feel of a fresh razor.  Any guy that shaves his head will no doubt be 20 times more vocal about this – a fresh shave across the coconut has a sound that is hard to describe.

Where am I going with this?  My razor – the one that I use for my face and dome – is stolen MULTIPLE times a week by you-know-who.


The same one I use on my face and egg-shaped head is the same one she uses for her legs and no-no spot.  Why can’t you women leave us just ONE thing that we can call our own?

Not to mention, this is happening with a woman who goes into convulsions if I take a sip from her drink.  Again, seriously?  After 4 kids and (what seems like) an equal # of “encounters,” don’t you think that she’d be over the spousal germaphobia by now?!?!

As great as the feeling of a new razor can be, I can’t begin to describe the horror of expecting a fresh shave, only to surprised by the tug and pull of a razor used earlier in the day to trim her panini.  It’s a feeling similar to watching the other team run out the clock after your team misses the game winning field goal – realization kicks in, but for some reason you push forward, all while wearing your best diarrhea face.

I’ve been thinking for the better part of a half hour, and I can think of NOTHING that comes close to this in a role reversal.  Should I brush my back hair, then give her the hairbrush to use?  Sounds fun, but that’s not even close.  If you have any analogies out there, please send them along!

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7 Responses to “He Said: “What’s Mine is Yours, and What’s Yours is — Err, Yours…””
  1. sarah says:

    Love it! Use her deoderant and leave a few pit hairs on the surface 🙂 Maybe that will show her.
    sarah recently posted..Theres this timewaster at workMy ComLuv Profile


    Dave Reply:

    Nice! Because the ones on the soap clearly aren’t enough…


  2. I’m taking your side on this one because my hubs “borrows” my Venus razor that I keep in the shower and it irks me to no end. The closest analogy would be to wash your nether regions with your wife’s beauty bar (face soap) sans washcloth and leave your pubes stuck on it.
    Teresha@ Marlie and Me recently posted..24/7 Online Tutoring ServiceMy ComLuv Profile


    Dave Reply:

    Now you’re talking! By the way – would it pain you if I told you I was a math major?


    Teresha@ Marlie and Me Reply:

    Nah, I won’t hold it against you
    Teresha@ Marlie and Me recently posted..24/7 Online Tutoring ServiceMy ComLuv Profile


  3. Maybe you should be grateful she shaves!

    And I’m not sure I’ll look at a panini the same way again.
    Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..Halloween on the Farm ie Here There Be ElvisMy ComLuv Profile


    Kat Reply:

    Or, be able to go to Panera Bread ever again (!)


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