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She Said: “Does the Pope Wear a Funny Hat?” | Today's Cliche - Marriage, Family, & Working Mommy... from BOTH Women's and Men's Perspectives

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

She Said: “Does the Pope Wear a Funny Hat?”

November 6, 2010 by Kat  

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color: #000080;”>Wait so are you asking me to answer these, Dave? Alrighty, if you say so. My answers are in PURPLE. Your snide remarks are in BLUE:

Dave asks in his post: “DO I WANT YOU TO HELP?!?!” Let’s see:

  • DAVE: What percentage of guys in the world do ALL of the laundry for a family of 6? My guess is 1.3%
    • Umm… do you have any idea the responsibility and stress involved in:
      • Getting all the bins of clothes out, and switching their clothes out seasonally (that, IN IT SELF, is a full time job — ladies??? Hook me up. You KNOW what I’m talking about…). It takes 4 FULL weekend days to do the 4 kids’ crap.
      • The stress of picking out their outfits every morning? Four kids = four tops, four pants, four undies, four pairs of socks, four pairs of shoes, four sets of 20 teeth to be brushed, four kids to have breakfast, four kids to get to school. Oh, and it makes it a big HARDER when ALL OF THE DIRTY LAUNDRY ISN’T CLEANED YET… which equates to actually having to THINK at an early hour about how to get creative with things that REALLY don’t go together. Or — better yet — the laundry IS cleaned but sitting in 9 heaps, for 9 days, getting wrinkled exponentially by the day.
      • How much longer it takes to strategically put the crap on hangars, and in the proper order, in their closets?
      • How annoying it is when you put the kids’ clothes – or mine – in the wrong baskets (i.e. MY UNDERWEAR in our 7 year old’s basket, our 2 year old’s jeans [still damp/wet, btw] in our 4 year old’s pile?)
      • Oh yeah.. and the best one — I WORK. So, hell yah, it’s 1/2 your job to do 1/2 the responsibilities of the laundry, the dishes, the chores, etc. You wash and fold (50%); I swap out seasonally, strategically plan, and put away (50%). (Shhh – As you can imagine I wouldn’t trade my role as primary clothes purchaser in the fam… but don’t tell him)
  • DAVE: You’re hunkered down on the couch like you’re ready for popcorn and a movie while I’m sprawled out on the floor folding laundry
    • Yep… what part of “Girls Night Out” did you NOT understand? You’re heading out tonight for a “Guy’s Night”, correct?? Let me tell you… there is a ZERO PERCENT chance that if I was putting clothes away in their closets, after your “Guy’s Night Out” that you would say, “Hey babe, can I help you with your laundry role?” First off — it’s a “G U Y ‘ S Night O U T”. What does that mean? A NIGHT OFF. From WHEN YOU LEAVE, until you go TO SLEEP.
    • The ONLY reason in HELL you’d offer to help ME after getting home was to speed up the chances of you getting lucky that night.
    • Yes, I did hunker down with a snack after a night of Wine Tasting. Who wouldn’t? Remember, it was a GIRL’s Night O U T. However, I chose bagel chips and cream cheese. What would you choose after you got home? A disgusting, out-of-a-jar sour cream & onion DIP with potato chips. Aside from smelling like a brewery, you’d have the worst breath in the world… therefore severely decreasing the chances of the bullet above.
  • You asked 13 questions about the show on TV, and my answer – time & again – is “I’m not sure…I’m not really watching.” Could you not get the hint?
    • No, I didn’t catch the hint. You’re basically worthless whenever I have a question. Why would that night be any different?

DAVE: Did you even have to ask? Consider this analogy – Kat’s out in the yard spreading mulch. Pitchfork in hand, throwing shovelful after shovelful into a wheelbarrow. I come home, throw down a lawnchair next to her and ask “Do you want me to help?” That would go over like a poop sandwich!

KAT: That was a great analogy… I’ll give yah that. That’s about it. A thank you for the LMAO moment.

I think I’ll wrap this up with a question for you, Dear:

  • What percentage of women make a homecooked meal for their husband 4-5 nights a week (and have 4 little ones, and work part-time). My guess is 1.3%.

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Comments

One Response to “She Said: “Does the Pope Wear a Funny Hat?””
  1. Beth says:

    I think the only appropriate response to this post is a standing ovation and copious amounts of applause!

    [Reply]

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